will never, never tire of writing

Out there in a world called cyber space

2008-05-05T20:39:00.000-07:00

Out there in a world called cyber space

One good thing about having technologically and “cybernetically” inclined friends is being regularly updated with all things well, technological and cybernetic—newest gadgets, hottest PC game and free talks or fora about online media.

This was what happened a couple of days ago while a close “techie” friend of mine and I were talking through YM. She casually sent me an invite to an event. It read: “iBlog 4: The 4^th Philippine Blogging Summit. At first, I was hesitant, after all, it will be held on a Saturday (and for a full-time intern and student this summer like me, Saturday is synonymous with sleep) but with a little prodding and a series of “sige na, you'll like it” from my friend, made me say “yes.”

It was still a little early when I arrived at the Malcolm Hall, College of Law, University of the Philippines. The accommodating organizers of the event instructed that I stay inside theater while waiting for the event to start. A couple of minutes went by and the registration began, the press kits were distributed and the cameras started rolling.

The first speaker was popular blogger, Ms. Charo Nuguid . She talked about the basic information about blogging. Derived from the phrase “web log”, a blog is a web page where one can “post” about his thoughts, views and opinions at the same time upload multi-media applications such as pictures, videos and music. Ms. Nuguid also discussed some important point blog users must take note when setting up a new blog like in what particular site they like to have their blogs published and to what extent their blogs will be accessible to Internet users.

Prior to that, it was very interesting to note that when Ms. Nuguid asked the audience how many actually owns a blog. It was not a surprise that majority of the audience raised their hands but surprisingly enough, most of these hands belong to middle-aged people. This only mean that what was once a trend among teenagers, students and yuppies has fast becoming a trend to a newer set of users.

A special video presentation from Australian blogger Mr. Brian Gorell was shown next. An avid blogger, it can be recalled that Mr. Gorell’s popularity rooted from his controversial post about a well-known Filipino socialite. On his presentation, Mr. Gorell talked about the things blogging taught him—like how to improve one’s personality and how to assert one's freedom of speech.

Other speakers include Juan Karlo Licudine, a student blogger who wanted to take his chance in pursuing a professional career in blogging and photographer Juned Sonido who discussed the great and mighty power photo blogging has. He had me nodding in agreement when he said that one doesn’t need a DSLR or other SML’s (Samahan ng Malalaking Lente) cameras to take good photos. The art of photography is mastered and not learned through expensive cameras.

Also present in the summit to give their own presentations were web comics pioneer, Jonas Diego, bloggers Aileen Apolo and Coy Caballes who spoke about new trends in the blogging field called “”vlog and podcasting.” In Cyber speak, these two terms mean video blogging and voice recording, respectively. Together with them were blogging advocate Noemi Lardizabal and Mindanao blogger, Ria Jose.

As a journalism student, I was trained to be balanced and refrain from taking sides. But as much as I want to stop myself, forgive me.

Among my favorite speakers and issues raised were that of political bloggers Manuel Quezon III, Luz Rimban and Janette Toral. In about two years, the country will once again face a significant battle and struggle of choosing leaders. In this sense, the speakers highlighted the crucial role blogging and the blog users themselves play during national events such as elections.

Ms. Rimban stressed the advantages of intertwining online media, especially blogging to an important event like elections. Among its benefits include less cost of elections expenses since coverage will much be easier at the same time, through blogging, poll watching can be efficiently maintained. However, in this case, how do we make online media an official part of our election? What processes are needed to be done? What and where to register?

Lastly, another interesting issue was presented by Atty JJ Disini. In his talk, he discussed about some legal challenges a blogger can possibly face if responsible use of the cyber space is not practiced.

With personal computers (and laptops) and the Internet bringing the world into our homes, they provide access to a vast and unbelievable amount of information. But with this unlimited access to Internet and free-for-all set up of most social network sites as well as blog sites, come a certain level of awareness regarding laws and regulations involving this online media.

Computers and Internet surely changed the way man has lived. This combo indeed paved way for a lot of innovations and new technology. Since its invention, it conveniently enabled man to have access anything one can think of in just a few seconds, in a just a few clicks.

But as users, we must recognize its limits and boundaries the way that we see its convenience and might. After all, if we fail to do so, we suffer at the end. Think about the endless possibilities—libel charges, scandals, cyber stalking, death threats…

Iblog 4 and the UP College of Law Internet and Society Program has been very helpful in the dissemination of helpful and important issues and points regarding online media. It’s a good thing that it has recognized the powerful impacts of Internet usage in our society. For that, it wouldn’t be bad to give ISP three shining stars.

The iBlog 4 ended at around past 5pm. It was well attended by students, teachers and bloggers. The fun seemed to never end as a raffle draw was held and some lucky participants (ahem, ahem) won cool prizes like Filipiniana shirts by one of iBlog 4's sponosrs, WikiPilipinas.org.

The name surely rings a bell. Since its launch last August 28, 2007 at the 28^th Manila International Book Fair, the first pioneering Philippine online encyclopedia, WikiPilipinas.org has already published 50,000 articles that are classified into 12 knowledge portals namely: people and society, culture and arts, media and entertainment, sports and lesiure, history, economy and business, government and politic, geography and travel, religion and beliefs, science and technology, Philippine communities and Philippine websites. When you think about it, it's like having a Pinoy library of our own in a ocean of foreign things in cyberspace. How cool is that?

The picture-taking session with the speakers signaled the end of the event. It had been a whole day activity but the audience don't seem to mind. In the end, it had been one interesting and worthwhile afternoon.

Along with WikiPilipinas.org, this year’s blogging summit was sponsored by Yehey., iBlog 4’s official online media partner, Morph Labs, Alfox Computer Center and Ploghost.

It's Okay to Say "I'm Tired"

2008-04-22T20:33:00.000-07:00

It's been so long since I have written something significant here. Oh, make that something alone.

Life in college is perfectly sweet and painful.
The amount of work and time spent in doing endless requirements are so unimaginable, I barely had no time to do things I promised myself I will maintain (like a blog, obviously).

It is so ironic that I am updating this blog when I am feeling totally annoyed right now.

It is so ironic that I am talking about how annoyed I am when all I want to do is regain focus and forget that I am beaten.

SUMMER is supposed to be full of endless fun. It supposed to be enjoyed.

Not that I'm saying it's wrong to take up classes during summer. I mean, now that I have taken two subjects, I'll have lighter load next school year--which means, I can concentrate more on my thesis proposal and take up extra subjects, I've been dying to take up.

But today, just this day, I felt that I am completely tired.
I felt that I made one bad move when I decided to do all things together--summer classes, internships and part-time work.

7am-10 pm. Each day. Missed lunches and dinners.
Then, there's this insomnia that delays sleep.
5:30 am is the wake up call I have to deal with each day, for five times a week.

Wow.

I know, this is whiny.
I chose this kind of lifestyle and I should know its consequences.

Pero talagang minsan, nakakapagod.

There. Somehow, writing about it made some of the anxiety and stress go away.

Salamat sa Blog ko.
Salamat rin that I was able to remember my password.

*I need a seriously good time with my Crazy Team
*Go, for Probe!

*To The Royal Coolness, your appearance and return was so timely.
Really. You are a falling star that falls when I needed to make a wish.

The Lord will always hold me.
I'll just have to hold tighter.

You cannot bring me down.
I tell you.

I'm back and ready to rock.

2007-06-17T02:53:00.000-07:00

I'm back and ready to rock.

Surprise, surprise, everyone.

Yes, I know. I've been gone for so long--for more than three months and gosh, I tell you, so much has happened and all I wanted to do is write them all here.

But that won't be easy because first, we don't have Internet connections at home so when I do updates I go to computer shops. And since, I'm sure to be writing long posts, I can't do it now. My apologies. However, as soon as I'm done with that post, I'm going to upload it as soon as possible. Okay? Are we clear there?

Just in case these people pass by my ancient blog:

Cool Gang, How are you guys? I'm so excited for our bonding-event come Tuesday. I miss you all so much. Mims, I really miss you, I look forward sitting next to you sa J195 class. Solid 6, I really wish that everything will always be fine with us. I heart you all.

So, bye for now and don't worry one good post is surely coming.

Sorry, is all I can say.

2007-02-26T05:50:00.000-08:00

This is unbelievably shameless.

What happened to me? What happened to my so-called "uncontrollable writing urges" ? What happened to my blog? I know, I know, I've been pretty neglectful but really, I won't say when exactly but promise, I'll make up here, big time.

Simple things

2006-12-11T07:07:00.000-08:00

Simple things

People are often looking very hard to find happiness. Ironically, when you think about it, happiness doesn’t always have to be something big or major. Sometimes, the things that can actually put a huge smile on your face are just around the corner.

10 Simple Things That Can Make Me Happy

1. A perfectly prepared coffee—a little bit bitter but with a hint of just the right amount of sweetness. I’m also in love with its almost hypnotizing aroma.

2. Simple gestures of concern from people I love. Like asking me if I have eaten lunch or something, telling me that I needed to rest, preparing the kind of food I’d like to eat, giving me a glass of water when I’m so into my studies that I couldn’t even drink though I’m absolutely thirsty, giving me a gentle hug, checking if I have gone to bed…those kinds of stuff.

3. Catching my favorite song on the radio or my favorite music video on MTV.

4. Not forwarded sms from persons dear to me. Especially the ones with my name on the message.

5. The sight of my room. With Hello Kitty, shelves of book, purple stuff and pictures on it.

6. Quiet moments when I’m alone or I’m the only person who is awake. Especially during the ungodly hours of 11:00 up to 2:00 am.

7. My darling, Vi. On the television, on my computer, on my diary, on my planner, on my room’s wall, on my phone, on the movie house, on commercials, on my scrapbook, on the Internet and on posters. Gosh, I swear, I can really see stars whenever I see images of her. Imagine what more whenever I see her personally. Especially when she smiles at me.

8. The nature. Yeah, all those trees, mountains, flowers, fluffy clouds, animals and the beaches.
I feel amazingly good at the sight of these.

9. A good book. Or any piece of written art.

10. Sweetened Nata De Coco, cheesecake, McNuggets Meal, apple pie, dark chocolate, Coke

See? You don’t really need to seek too hard or search too far to be happy. Sometimes, you don’t even need to spend a single centavo. For happiness, the real happiness is priceless.

Don't loathe me.

2006-11-29T04:37:00.000-08:00

Don't loathe me.

Question to face no.1:
"Where are all those updates you said you're gonna post?"
Jen: "Uhm, they're on their way, actually"

Question to face no.2:
"When do you plan to post regularly?"
Jen: "After I post the updates, which is very sooner."

There. Please, I know, I know that I have made promises but I really do hope that you'll give me more time. My life is so darn busy, you know.

Don't hate me, okay?

Hi!! to my Cool Gang, SOLID SIX, my VSSI friends, Katips people, UP people, my brother and sister, my family and of course to my darling Vi!! I heart you all!!!

Happy, happy birthday to my favorite high school teacher/mommy, Teacher Mila!! I love you now and always!! I so miss you!!

Happy birthday, too to Ms. Maricel! God bless you and be happy today!!!

Hold me tight.

2006-11-14T06:26:00.001-08:00

Hold me tight.

My Lord, my heart desire nothing but

To know you-reveal Yourself to me.

For you to consume my being, and fill me with Your Spirit.

To move mountains for me.

To silence the storms in me.

To do whatever it takes to restore me to you.

To teach me how to pray.

To hold me to my words with every commitment I make.

To take me out of my comfort zone to serve you.

To be sweet to me.

To speak to me, in a special, intimate way.

To speak for me.

To use me to change people's lives.

To show me how powerful your love is.To bring me to my knees.

To make my dreams come true.

To take my little life and turn it into something extraordinary for You.

It is You, my Lord who really know me, my heart and my being. I entrust everything to You. Please, dear God, hold me. Never let me fall.

I'm so sorry.

2006-10-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

I'm so sorry.

Yeah. I know. I promised that I'll make it up here and
post all the stuff I missed to put on this blog.

But please, don't blame me.

Brent (my name for my pc), is sort of sick. I still need to bring him somewhere to make his system work again. Don't worry, he's not that critical.

Plus, I still have tons of cleaning to do, darling. My room is quite a mess from that moving process.

And, I'm so busy getting all that sleep I've been deprived of.

But don't worry, that posts and updates I promised,
They're on their way.

Believe me.

Loving this sem break. Solid 6, when do we go out and have the ultimate bonding time? Cool gang, enjoy the vacation, pahinga kayo, I'll miss you all. Katips people, especially Mimi, Ateneo, Miriam, and Ate Thess, I miss you.Comm3 people, VSR, co-apps ko sa WC, I miss you rin, guys. And to my darling Vi, can't wait to see you again.

Nagbabalik.

2006-10-01T23:59:00.000-07:00

Nagbabalik. Pansamantala.

Pasensya na. At sanlibo pang pasensya.
Alam kong nakakaligtaan ko na ang pag-a-update.

Pasensya na talaga.

Paano naman, inuulan ako ng trabaho sa eskwela.
As in. Tapos, may kailangan pang i-install sa computer ko kaya ayun, di ko pa magamit.

Ngunit, wag mag-alala.
Sapagkat, makaraos lamang ako, magbabalik ang lahat sa dati at makakapagkuwento na ulit ako.

Pangako.

Ang dami ko na ngang gustong banggitin.

Ang Writers Club at mga co-apps kong ka "role-playing" ko at ka "joke time" na rin, yung field trip sa Taal na puwedeng ipantapat dun sa pag-akyat ni Romy sa Everest, si Vi at ang moment namin, si RC, ang 18th birthday ko na walang kasing saya, ang VSR, ....

Basta.
Babalik ako at aayusin ang lahat.

parang dialogue ng isang character sa Pinoy teleserye no?

You made me sooo darn happy.

2006-09-18T02:49:00.000-07:00

You made me sooo darn happy.

I can't believe it.
I really, really can't believe it..

Gosh, i just spend some time with her.

The Queen- ATE VI.

Gosh, gosh, gosh..

Oo, corny na ako--ewan ko sa inyo..basta,
She was so wonderful and I'm so glad I got the chance to really know her

It all felt so surreal..

Certain uncertain-ness.

2006-09-04T05:09:00.000-07:00

Certain uncertain-ness.

Oo. Exactly.

Hindi ko rin maintindihan pero nakakaramdam ako ng kalungkutan. Ng sakit, ng takot.

Sorry kung emo ha. Pagbigyan niyo na malapit na namang mag-birthday.

Aside from all this emotional load that has been plaguing me, Sus, would you believe sobrang stressful pa ng araw na ito?

*MS1 exams
*Eng11 panel discussion (Oo, hangang ngayon di pa tapos)
*Geog1 exams (Ma'm Arni, next time tanggalin niyo na po yung mga bonus questions, di ko rin naman po masasagot yung tungkol sa Red Hot Chili Peppers)

Buti na lang lahat ng "unpleasant things" may good side lagi.

*Pumasok na si RC. Oo, Lex! Yey!

Gosh, iba na rin to. I need a break. Seriously.

V is for Vilma, Vava-voom Vilma.

2006-08-28T02:45:00.000-07:00

August 26, 2006
V is for Vilma, Vava-voom Vilma.

After that nerve-wracking Envi Sci exam that brought me a terrible headache, I decided to give my self a little treat-watch a Vi-film.

Actually, I never want to spend my weekends in the city. If I dont have any urgent stuff to do (or required films to watch or meetings to attend), I usually go home. But today is different. I mean, how can I resist the urge to see Vi? My Vilma?

So there, I watched Sister Stella L. in the UP Film Institute. It was the first time that Im going to see this Vi-film. According to Rafael, it wasnt as exceptional as other Vilma Santos’s film. I did not believe him. After watching the film, I was right. It was good, honestly.
Vilma’s acting here is not too heavy but her subtle performance in the film was not an excuse for her not to stand out.

In the film, Vilma plays the role of a nun who came face to face with what is happening outside her safe zone- the congregation, amidst rallies taking place on the streets. It was her katokayo (namesake), played by another wonderful actress, Laurice Guillen who showed Vilma what it is like for nuns like them to participate in rallies formed by abused laborers. At first, Stella (Vilma) looked absolutely lost and confused with all the shouting and commotion around her. But eventually, she was able to see a clearer picture of things. Especially when Ka Dencio was brutally killed. This incident became an eye-opener. The typical and goody-goody Stella emerged as the strong-willed and indomitable ally of the rallyists.

At the end, Vilma did not fail to put a smile across my face. And the other viewers as well. Although not all of them actually like Vilma, it’s good to know that they all appreciate the film and her acting.

*Sa wakas rin,nakilala ko na kung sino si Ka Dencio.Yes. Apir.
(natutunan ng writer ang “apir” kay Ate April, ang head ng mga aplikante ng Writer’s Club.)

This is it.

2006-08-23T02:48:00.000-07:00

August 23,2006
This is it.

As promised, here are the unpublished posts you’ve all been waiting for! I can now call myself as the "responsible blogger" that I used to be. Bawal kumontra.

*August 10-13, 2006
Mindoro Escapade

Yep, I went here—on one of the coolest places ever. My cool and beautiful Tita Mari took Kuya Marlon and I with her for a quick vacation. For the first time ever, I was able to ride a ferry. It was sort of scary but when we are right in middle of the ocean, I suddenly felt an unexplainable feeling of happiness. I knew it! I was a mermaid on my past life.

For three days and four nights, we stayed in Coco Beach Hotel. Such coolness. Everything on that place looked something from a brochure. Literally picturesque. I could live there permanently. During our stay in Mindoro, the three of us were able to live very tourist-y lives. Awaken by the sun’s rays every morning, head straight to the balcony and admire the breath-taking view (our room is like a nipa located halfway the top of a mountain), sniff the fresh air, feast on the eat-all-you-can buffet on the restaurant, go swimming, snorkeling, sun-bathing, island hopping, lots of boating, some wogging (walking and jogging) and beach strolling, eat some more again and drift to a goodnight's sleep.

I had a wonderful time there. Who wouldn’t? The Mangyans are absolutely hospitable and very accommodating. I just love their accents. The place is magnificent. It’s impossible for you not to appreciate the nature’s value. It will make you think twice before dumping those trashes just anywhere. And of course, I get to have a wonderful time too, with Kuya Marlon, especially with Tita Mari. She’s just so amazing. Funny, witty and brilliant—she can wow anyone. Thirty-something syndrome na nga yata, Mims.

Anyway, if you have the chance, go and visit Mindoro. Better if you will stay in Coco Beach and I swear, you’ll have the same satisfaction that I have felt.

Am I plugging or what?

*August 15, 2006
You can’t stay young forever!

I wanted to yell this to those “beauty-minded” people inside that butterfly-themed clinic.

I wanted to explain to them that no matter how many Botox they use or how many whatsoever they put in their faces, they will still age and eventually die.

There’s nothing wrong in being vain. I mean, in some ways, I’m vain too. There’s nothing wrong in aspiring to look young and vibrant again at the age of 54. There’s nothing wrong with using anti-aging products or engaging in operations just to achieve that "beauty" again.

But what is wrong (and annoy me like hell) is when these people became obsessed with this. When as if looking young, beautiful and vibrant is the only thing that matters in this entire world. My God.Let’s face it. Nobody will stay young forever. Unless the Goddess of Beauty will come down from above and hand everyone anti-aging potions.

Physical appearance is important. But it is not the only essential thing in this planet. There are values, achievements, God, friends, families, eating right and health and persons like Vilma Santos that actually must come first.

* I still have that impression of you the first time I met you, I’m sorry but you still look like a cat to me.

*August 7, 2006
Wishful thinking.

I have a confession to make. A very superficial thought that occurred to me just this moment. Only proves that I’m only human—I still have extravagant desires no matter how simple I am.

I want to live in Hyatt Hotel. The one in Malate.

Yep, I really do.

Kamusta na nga ba ako?

2006-08-18T22:52:00.000-07:00

Kamusta na nga ba ako

I wanted to say that "I'm okay, I'm fine" but the problem is darn--I can't because I'm not.

The past few days have been wonderful.
I've been to Mindoro, had a quick but absolutely fun break, I've spent time with one of the world's coolest persons--Tita Mari, I'm doing well in school, my friends and I are okay.. in short, okay naman .

But underneath these, there's the rotten fact that I'm not okay.

Dang.

Ang hirap naman ng ganito.

sana naman maging maayos na ang lahat at masabi ko nang okay tayo.

I Promise.

2006-08-16T07:18:00.000-07:00

I Promise.

Malapit na malapit na talaga yung mga posts.
Pangako.

My god, tambak na ang mga dapat i-kwento..
Pero hahabulin ko. Sa mga nag-iisip na iresponsableng blogger ako,
Patawad.

Hayaan ninyo, papatunayan kong mali kayo. Okay?

Pahapyaw lang:

*Salamat,salamat kay Tita Mari sa bakasyong niregalo niya.
Mindoro rocks!

*Happy 18th birthday kay Xyza, love you, girl!

*I miss you, Aki at Yuji!
*I miss you too, Mom kahit ano pa.

*Can I call you "the Royal Coolness"?

Malapit na ang mga update.
Malapit na talaga.

The urge to yell and curse.

2006-07-24T03:44:00.000-07:00

The urge to yell and curse.

Yeah, I know.
I've got a lot of explaining to do about my
"for-awhile-abandoned" blog.
But actually, I was about to upload those unposted entries but before I could do so, I lost it.

God, I'm so thankful I'm such a calm person.
I really thank the Lord.

I wish I hadn't read that mail.
Really.

Anyway, I just hope that things between US will be fine, sooner.

God.

About those entries, don't worry I'll post them sooner. Promise

UP, Like no other school

2006-07-01T04:14:00.000-07:00

June 25, 2006
UP, Like No Other School

Im loving my school more and more.
Weird, but true. The past few days have been totally sad but somehow, UP and being in that wonderful university made feel…relieved.

Whenever I walk down along those old corridors, I feel free.
Whenever I see those trees, those really green trees, that line the streets make me feel fresh.
Whenever Im with several people from different walks of life, I feel belonged.

Whenever Im in UP, I feel like I’m much different person from the old and boring me.

I feel a little braver.
A little tougher.
(If only that feeling would last a lifetime)

Im so thankful I got into that most prestigious school ever.
Yeah, so thankful.

June 30, 2006
Help.

And I dont want the world to see me,
Cause I dont think that they ll understand.
But when everything s made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

I feel so scared. I feel so troubled.
I could not stop my mind to worry even about the smallest things.

What am I supposed to do? I believe in you but
I have a lot of fears. Please, hold me. Dont let me fall.

Liwanag sa Dilim

2006-06-22T04:09:00.000-07:00

Continuation...
Liwanag sa Dilim (Part 2)

June19* The day went pretty fine. UP life is still exciting and scary at the same time. Im nearly done with the entire enrolment, assessment and add MATs process. All I need to do was find my Spanish 10 professor then I can pay the extra fees and Im done. But guess what, pabalik-balik na kami nila Anna at Raffy sa FC, nakakain na kami ng lunch pati merienda at naka-attend na kami sa lahat ng mga class namin, pero wala pa rin siya sa office niya. So another day went and for some unlucky reasons perhaps, Im still not settled with this whole thing.

June 20* Somebody must congratulate me. Yes, Im done!!! After all those stress manual enlistment and enrolment brought me, Anna and I could actually kiss the floor after the cashier handed us both our receipts.

This is the life.

Thanks be to God.

Mom, I miss you more each day.
I wish that we will be together sooner.
Aki and Yuji, you two are in my heart now and always.

Old Posts.

2006-06-18T00:50:00.000-07:00

Old Posts

June 9, 2006
The Hardest Day

Yesterday and today were two of the most horrible days of my life.
The sight of my mother packing up is just plain torture.
I actually wished to vanish at that
moment.

Though this scenario has been going on for the past years, this time was the hardest. I wanted them to stay for good but some things are not fixed yet so they cannot do that now. It really breaks my heart you know, especially now that I was really attached to them.

Honestly, there were things that up to now, no matter how I try to understand, I still dont get why it has to happen. Why could the good things you asked for were not always given to you? How could that happen when you wish for nothing but to be happy?

I ve got questions. A lot of them.
But sometimes, I just try to ignore them because whenever I start to ponder about them, I start to depress myself, too.

The airport, yes, is another torture. It let you see for yourself that your loved ones, bound to somewhere, are actually moving away from you. And it adds to the pain that you, on other hand cant do anything to make them stay.

Im a big baby.
For being so sad, for crying and for thinking that this is the worst.

But no one can blame me.
I mean, I just happen to love my mother and siblings a lot.

June 15, 2006
Liwanag sa Dilim(Part 1)

I have not yet recovered from my mother s disappearance and when I am faced with another nightmare I hate to face—Enrolment and manual enlistment.

Actually, the enrolment process started last week. However, last June 7, I, together with my Mom, Grandma, Aki and Yuji, went there, we found out that I cant enlist yet for the subjects I wish to have but failed to get on the CRS (darn, CRS.) Tri-Coll kasi.

The CRS result shocked me. At first I got 5 out of 7 subjects that I enlisted. But to my astonishment, the final processing just gave me 3 subjects. This only meant two things: 1.) I need to get those other subjects manually (which include all that long lines and killing each other to get a slot) and 2.) I was pretty unlucky.

JUNE 08* By 7:30 in the morning, I was already in UP. I first went to get a slot in Geol1 and after lining up (where I met Bianca) for about an hour, I found out that out of 47 students bagging to get a slot, only two slots will be given. So I’m off. I tried my luck and went to MS but unfortunately, all MS1 sections are already closed. I was still full of hope so I went the other way and tried to get a slot in Envi Sci but to my dismay, no slot was given to anyone. God, I never thought that it would be that difficult. Yep, I certainly have heard before that manual enlisting could really be a big pain but I never thought that it would be like this. By 1:30, I still got those 3 subjects on my Form5A. I couldn’t enroll yet because I was still under load. I tried getting Socio10 but failed again. So, I started looking for available subjects again. Then, I saw some of the Cool Gang and we talked for a while and after much deliberation, we decided to enlist in a foreign language course and a higher elective for it will be credited just the same. Doing this will enable most of us to finally enroll. God pitied us. We were able to get a slot in some language course-sections. Reyks, Jo and I got Spanish 10, while Brin and Maia got Russian 10. We were also able to get a higher Anthropology class so by the time we’re done on the enlistment, we thought we could actually enroll. But we were too excited. During the post-advising process done on our college, our adviser didn’t allow us to take a higher elective as a subject. Out of the curriculum daw. Our adviser nevertheless asked us to cancel that subject. That meant by the end of day, I, tired and almost dead, was still under load and unable to enroll. Sheesh.

JUNE 09* Straight from the airport where right in front of me, my loved ones disappear, we went to UP. Di ba torture talaga? Instead of going home from a painful day, here I am, kailangan pang pumila ng pagkahaba-haba para makakuha ng subjects at mag-enrol. Actually, we were at UP so early. So I waited for a while and at 8:30, I was ready for another battle. There were still a lot of students hurrying on their way around to complete their respective required units to finally enroll. I checked out the assigned rooms for Sociology subjects and other possible SSP subjects to try my luck. But darn, wala pa ring slots. After an hour, for the last chance, I tried getting a 4-unit subject to get through the entire enrolment process. And thanks be to God. He really loves me. I got that subject. So after the pre-advising, post-advising, checking, assessment of fees and finally, paying the fees, I was finally enrolled. Hallelujah.

But on the second thought, I shouldnt be that happy.
I still need to face another nightmare: Late registration and pre-rogs.
And, before I forget, getting a PE is hopeless.

Life.

*this has nothing to do with the whole enrolment process but really matters in my life, Happy birthday to two important persons in my life: Tito Ogie ( June 10) and my hip grandmother (June 11). May the good Lord continue to bless you both. I love you!

JUNE 13* Today is the first day of class. I arrived in UP at around 7:15 in the morning with this calm expression on my face, knowing that Im early enough two get a slot in two MST and one SSP subjects plus, a PE. I didn’t know that I was wrong. Before I can utter a word to those RAs assigned to each subject, they will give me this sad look and say: Naku, wala ng slot. Every single GE course in the entire UP Diliman was almost taken. Some subjects offered some slots. Mga 3 slots at pag-aagawan ng mga 50 students. It was annoying. All students were like hungry dogs begging for scraps of food. Ultimately pathetic. From 8:30 am to 4:00 pm, Anna (new MP4, with that La Isla Bonita video), Raffy (who kept saying, beggars cant be choosers), Brin (who nearly convinced me to take up STS) and I went to and fro AS, CS, NIGS, MSI and Villadolid Hall in search for just even one slot. By five o clock, Anna got a Geol1 slot (done through lot drawing), Raffy got Art Stud1, Brin and I got nothing. Sweet.

JUNE 15* I attended Geography 1. The professor is good and young. She seems fun, too. Then next, I went to FC 1088 where I will have my English 11 class and believe me, the moment we met the professor and she started talking, my classmates and I are shaking. Yes, she is kind of scary. Anyway, after that class, Raffy and I begun our quest for two more subjects. My feet actually felt like swelling. From too much walking, I guess. But although both Raf and I were tired and hungry and almost drained, we still continue to search for possible and subjects. Then, we passed by the MSI building and for the last time, asked the security guard if by any chance there is a new MS1 section. And guess what? There is! You should have seen the look on my face when I found out. However, the offered section is at the same time of my Geography1. The two subjects will conflict. I mean, I cant attend two subjects at the same time. But I was desperate to get an MST subject. Even just one. So, I had no choice but to gamble. Enlist on that MS1 subject, look for another Geography 1 section with a different time slot, if there still any, and cancel the other one. We went next to the Villadolid Hall to look for another newly opened section and the next miracle happened. I was able to enlist myself in Environmental Science 1 and now have two MSTs. Just that Geography1 thing and everything will be fine.

It was already 5:30 pm so Raf and I have to call it a day and together, we went home.

JUNE 16* Friday. I attended Spanish 10 and I must say that the professor is good. Si, she is. She made it clear that learning Spanish will be fun and easy. It breaks my heart that I have to cancel this subject. If it were not for those precious MST subjects talaga. Dang. The next class is T120, Im actually forced to get this one. But I guess, I will kind of like it because not only it will be credited next year, but it also happened that this subject is the only subject Im with some of the Cool Gang. My last class is Communication Skills 3 and wow, it was really good and fun. The professor’s really cool. She’s like Professor Yap’s older version. I’m really thankful that the subject was interesting. A good way to end the day.

I could almost feel the signs that say: You are done, Jen!
Just those Change Mat forms and payment for that and I am…

DONE. SETTLED and RELIEVED.
yeah!

Lost.

2006-06-12T00:51:00.000-07:00

Lost.

Yeah. I knew. It's been a long time since I last updated my blog. But like I've said it, I was LOST for awhile.

Honestly, I've been preoccupied with lots of things. I've been busy and before I knew it, classes are opening tomorrow and my blog was left outdated. Sheesh

However, I promise that I'll post regularly again and include what the hell happened for the past days.
Deal.

I miss you, Mommy, Aki and Yuji. Things aren't the same without you guys.
Cool Gang, another school year will start tomorrow and I wish for a happier bod among us.
UP, here I come-- stronger and tougher. Ready for your hassles.

Rewind.

2006-06-01T22:26:00.000-07:00

Rewind.

May 25
Happy Birthday, Anna!!

Happy 18th birthday to my dearest friend who has always been there all through out.First day of college classes. Traumatic Math experiences. Isaw and pizza feasting. Endless walkathons. 1s and almost 3 grades. Ikot and Toki jeepney rides. Parents blues. Boy problems. My entire UP life.

Now that you are 18, I wish for nothing but may you achieve your heart s greatest desires.May you always be happy because you deserve to be.
I am always here for you, Gandhi.Cheers for forever friendship.
I love you!

May 30
Where's the damn good in goodbye?

The saddest word is still goodbye.
Nothing could be more painful than saying goodbye to people you love the most -especially when you dont want to.

My mother and I s situation isnt new to me. It has been like that for so long. What? 17 years. She will come home to visit with my brother and sister for two weeks or so and they will be gone again. All my life I just dealt with that kind of process. Like I have a choice, right? I mean, that is reality.

However, time came when I realized that it has been too long that we are together the on and off style. It came to me that Im so sick from being away from my family and there is nothing that I wanted more than to be with them. Yes, I wanted my mother and siblings on my side. For good this time.

This is a major decision—knowing that there are sacrifices to be done here and there and it is gonna be a big change. But I never seem to mind. Like I have said, Im ready. It is time.

But what the heck. I cant fully understand why things cant work out our way. How come we cant be together today? How come I have to wait again?

It broke my heart that my Mom still had to go. It broke my heart to be away from her again and my siblings when I practically attached my self to them. It broke my heart that I had hopes that are just wasted.

At first I felt like giving up. Who would want to wait in vain? Parati na lang ganon. I dont want to hold on to something temporary. I almost close the doors. I almost end everything.
My mother, on the other hand became miserable. Who wouldnt be when you see that your daughter is actually slipping away from you? She is actually incapable of thinking what the right thing to do. We werent speaking for days. We were actually refusing to face the sickening truth—we have to say goodbye.

I thought I could just get over with it. But I was wrong. I may have been stubborn for a while but I cant stand to see my Mom pained.

I guess I just love her and my siblings so much that, Im still the one who will end up letting go. It has been one of the most difficult things I have done. I thanked God, my relatives and friends for helping me do that decision.

So, here I am, bound to be left alone again.
Though I dont want to, Perhaps I need to.

There are things that sometimes you think that you will never do,But at the end you must do because you love.

What will happen next?

2006-05-21T03:18:00.000-07:00

What will happen next?

There.
Somehow, I've said what's been bothering me like hell.

But what will happen?
Would that change your mind?
I hope only for the best.

Cross your fingers for me.
God, stay with me, always.

Can't Say Goodbye

2006-05-18T01:35:00.000-07:00

This is absolutely terrible. Really terrible.
God, what should I do?

Frankly, I was just over from those depressing days of confusion and pain when i realized that yeah, I had moved on from the blues but still, I am to face another bomb- my Mom's departure.

Actually, she hasn't fully said that she's going back to that far placebut I can tell that one moment, she and my brother and sister could be gone.

Since my Mom came home, I started to be attached to her. I don't know why. Perhaps, I just missed her so bad and I wanted to be with her. I don't want her to go. Absolutely no.

The mere thought and those "unavoidable hints" that she's going send hurtful stabs on my heart. I couldn't help but feel lonely. And I wonder, how would I handle when she's gone?
Part of me has started formulating mushy but sincere lines to say to her and stop her from going. but when I try, there are voices in the background, telling me that I'm selfish. On the other hand, every time I decide to just accept the whole thing, there are still voices. This time telling me that I, too, deserve to be with my mother and be happy.

Now, tell me. What should I do?

When you think about it, I'm in a middle of a total dilemma.
Two situations that are so difficult, Both are tearing me apart.
That is why, I guess, in a time like this, i have every right to cry, be sad, be mad- all at the same time.

At the moment, I knew that chances of stopping her from leaving are so slim. But at the back of my mind, there is a little hope that she'll stay. At the moment too, my Mom and I are happy. knowing we love each other and thankful that we've seen each other. My relationship with my brother and sister are absolutely going smoothly. I am happy. But until when?

I wish I can stop the time or close the airport so they can't go. I wish our good times won't end. I wish all the happy moments would last.

Bittersweet.
Why does it have to be like this?

I'm back!

2006-05-10T01:06:00.000-07:00

Been lost from the "blog world" for a couple of days but after sleepless nights, I realized that what's the point of having a blog when I'm not totally true to it?

Been feeling lost and lonely on and off but God is holding me strong enough that's why, somehow, I can still say, "I can make it."

It's okay to cry.
Time will come and i know, everything will be fine.
Be with me always.

Dahil ayaw pang i-post ang mga "bitter' entries, eto muna.

2006-04-29T05:08:00.000-07:00

Dahil ayaw pang i-post ang mga "personal" entries, eto muna

So okay, I found another excuse so I can't post my "personal" entries but hold on guys, because I'm still gonna post them.

*Random Things

three names you go by:
1. Jeniprox
2. Mats
3. Sandra
three screen names you have had:
1. godchild
2. the writer
3. oreo eyes on the block.
three physical things you like about yourself:
1. My eyes
2. my shoulders
3. height. yeah, that!
three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. My lips
2. My lower limbs--medyo 'di proportioned sa arms ko.
3. My feet- sort of.
three parts of your heritage:
1. Filipino
2. Caviteño/Pampangeño
3. And what?
three things that scare you:
1. Worms
2. Sadako and creatures that resemble her.
3. Losing a loved one
three of your everyday essentials:
1. Cellphone
2. A trusty pen
3. Hanky- nahawa na kay Ate Vi.
three of your favorite musical artists as of now:
1. Jason Mraz
2. Cynthia Alexander
3. Forever Celine Dion.
three of your favorite songs:
1. All the Love in the World- The Corrs
2. Suntok sa Buwan- Session Road
3. You and I Both- Jason Mraz
three things you want in a relationship:
1. trust- yep, lots of this.
2. space and some time to be alone
3. lots of laughter
three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. tall
2. the kind of smile that will leave you stunned
3. artistic dapat.
three of your favorite hobbies:
1. writing
2. room cleaning
3. going to malls and bookstores-- bookworm eh.
three things you want to do really badly now:
1. laugh until tears come running from my eyes
2. attend some writing workshops.
3. talk to Mom. And get things done. And hug her really tight.
three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. To write on some decent magazine or broadsheet
2. Work in media. Yeah!
3. Uhm, maging chef sana.
three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Palawan or Boracay.
2. Europa, sa buong Europa!!
3. States- yuji, my baby brother, sama ka ha?
three kid's names you like:
1. Daphne
2. Clarisse, Chin, Aki, Yuji
3. Rafael
three things you want to do before you die:
1. Publish a book. Okay, books
2. Do/produce a documentary. Ala Cheche Lazaro.
3. Be complete. Ala Centrum? haha.
three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. I move so fast.
2. I don't say I'm mad when I am
3. I'm pretty up for anything most of the time
three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. I like getting dressed and putting on some make up
2. I blush when somebody compliments me
3. I can't live the house without actally looking fully-human
three celebrity crushes:
1. Richard Gutierrez
2. Brad Pitt
3. Richard Gere

What's up with me lately?

2006-04-18T02:18:00.000-07:00

What's up with me lately?

These past few days (after her great arrival), I have to admit that my absolutely weird moods are torturing me that for five straight days, I have been crying on and off, been sporting that "blank look" and been eating so little, I lost 8 pounds.

I was really in a state of confusion for the past week that I forgot that I have a blog to maintain.
Today, thanks be to God ( and my friends- Bessie and cool gang,) I'm feeling better.

sana 'di na ko dalawin ng mga kung anu-anong pag-iisip.

So, I'm back here at the blog world. Yey!!

Holy Week ( April 10-17)

As usual, The same Holy Week-routine happened. The same Holy week stuff were done by the entire Aquino family (the one residing in Bulacan).

*HolyMonday-We had preparations done for the annual "pabasa".
*HolyTuesday- Wednesday- The Pabasa. We had lots of visitors. Mostly my relatives and my grandma's friends. As usual, I was in-charge of my cousins. I was their babysitter fot two whole days. Yes.
*Maundy Thursday-My Mom, Grandmother and the kids and I went to the evening mass.
*Good Friday-Confession and Station of the across. Naaalala ko pa 'yung advice ni Mons: Sabi niya " The Lord has sacrificed because He love us and He never got tired of it. Dapat ikaw din huwag magsawa kahit matagal ka nang nagsa-sacrifice" . I missed the procession. Ask my Mom why.
*Black Saturday-I just stayed at home.
*Easter Sunday- The Lord wanted me to be strong. I knew it. And I will be. There was one mushy but sincere letter given.

*Things I learned this Holy Week:
1. It's not wrong to feel bitter sometimes. It's okay to cry sometimes.
2. I'm can get really selosa sometimes.
3."Sorry" is the hardest word. But sometimes you have to say it beacuse you love someone.

Don't blame me if I act strange sometimes.
Don't blame me if I missed you in my life.

Yes or No.

2006-04-12T23:56:00.000-07:00

Yes or No.

Was blog hopping and luckily found this.
And since I don't want to be occupied with hideous thoughts today,
pinirata ko na ito.

1. You can only say YES or NO.
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you / comments and asks!

1. Taken a picture naked? No
2. Painted your room? No
3. Made out with a member of the same sex? No
4. Drove a car? No
5. Danced in front of your mirror? Yes
6. Have a crush? Yes
7. Been dumped? No
8. Stole money from friend? No
9. Gotten in a car with people you just met? No
10. Been in a fist fight? Yes
11. Snuck out of your house? Yes
12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? Yes
13. Been arrested? No
14. Made out with a stranger? No
15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? Yes
16. Left your house with out telling your parents? Yes
17. Had a crush on your neighbor? No
18. Ditched school to do something more fun? No
19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Yes
20. Seen someone die? No
21. Fake a phone call? Yes
22. Kissed a picture? Yes
23. Slept in until 3PM? Yes
24. Love someone or miss someone right now? Yes
25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yes
26. Made a snow angel? No
27. Played dress up? Yes
28. Cheated while playing a game? Yes
29. Been lonely? Yes
30. Fallen asleep at work/school? No
31. Been to a club? Yes
32. Felt an earthquake? Yes
33. Touched a snake? Yes
34. Ran a red light? No
35. Been suspended from school? No
36. Had detention? No
37. Been in a car accident? Yes
38. Hated the way you look? Yes
39. Witnessed a crime? Yes
40. Pole danced? Yes
41. Been lost? Yes
42. Cried for more than five hours? Yes
43. Felt like dying? Yes
44. Cried yourself to sleep? Yes
46. Sang karaoke? Yes
47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
48. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose? Yes
49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? No
50. Kissed in the rain? No
51. Sing in the shower? Yes
52. Made love in a park? No
53. Had a dream that you married someone? Yes
54. Glued your hand to something? Yes
55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? No
56. Ever gone to school partially naked? No
57. Been a cheerleader? Yes
58. Sat on a roof top? Yes
59. Didn't take a shower for a week? No
60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? Yes
61. Played chicken? Yes
62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Yes
63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? Yes
64. Broken a bone? Yes
65. Been easily amused? Yes
66. Laugh so hard you cry? Yes
67. Mooned/flashed someone? No
68. Cheated on a test? Yes
69. Forgotten someone's name? Yes
70. Slept naked? No
71. Gone skinny dipping in a pool? No
73. Blacked out from drinking? No
74. Played a prank on someone? Yes
75. Gone to a late night movie? No
76. Made love to anything not human? No
77. Failed a class? No
78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? Yes
79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours? No
80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? No
81. Did you celebrate the 4th of July? No
82. Thrown strange objects? Yes
83. Felt like killing someone? Yes
84. Thought about running away? Yes
85. Ran away? No
86. Did drugs? No
87. Had detention and not attend it? No
89. Made a parent cry? Yes
90. Cried over someone? Yes
91. Owned more than 5 sharpies? No
92. Dated someone more than once? No
93. Have a dog? Yes
94. Own an instrument? Yes
95. Been in a band? No
96. Drank 25 sodas in a day? No
97. Broken a cd? Yes
98. Shot a gun? No

That was FUN.

Tagalog. Bakit hindi?

2006-04-10T00:29:00.000-07:00

Tagalog. Bakit hindi?

April o5
*kayraming nakakagulat na pangyayari:
-aba. akalain mong mataas ang grado ko sa MP10. Ngayon, puede na kong bumalik sa titser ko noong hayskul na nagsabi sa akin:
"Ano ba ito? Terible ang sulat mo, hija."
-May sinundo sa airport. May isang batang hindi sigurado kung natuwa o nagulat. Mukhang pareho.

April 06
-Nagsimula na. Nagsimula na akong talunin ng aking mga pag-iisip.
-"I was never asking for something too much. And yet, you can't even give the simple things you knew I needed"

April 07
-Happy Birthday, Jilian. Miss na kita, babaeng pasaway!
-Mahirap pala ang walang makausap at masabihan ng problema. Nasa'n ang Solid 6? Cool gang?

April 08
-Salamat Bessie, Reyka at Maia. Salamat sa pakikinig. Salamat at nandyan kayo.

April 09
-Nakakapagod ang Walk of Faith na iyon. 16 kilometers ba naman.

April 1st.

2006-04-01T19:45:00.000-08:00

April 1st.

This day is April Fool's Day but I promise, my blog entry for today is not a joke.

At around 2 pm, I have nothing to do. I was actually alone in the house. No T.V programs to watch, no cousins to babysit for and no darn thing to do. So, instead of doing nothing at all but stare at the ceiling, I went to my room and looked around.

My eyes settled on my Pandora's box.

Yeah, I kept one. And perhaps, only those who really close to me knew about that. In case you're wondering why of all names, I chose Pandora-it has something to do with mythology. Pandora's box was opened a long,long time ago and it released all sorts of things to the world: grief, happiness, knowledge, hatred, angst and hope. My own box is quite like that. There I kept old letters, wrappers, cards and even dried roses. Proofs that in my life, I love and was loved, I cried, I was teasured and valued by people, I made mistakes.. Strange for some. But this strangeness makes me feel good.

I started looking for letters that I acquired since Grade 3 and upon rummaging through satcks of cards and letters, I found three letters that made me realized that surely, things have gone a long way and ended up changing.

*a photograph of me in my elementary uniform- I had really short hair and unforgivable crooked teeth. thanks to my hair dresser and orthodontist, I looked like a real girl now.

*wallet size photo of Dennis(from Ghostfighter) with a message at the back- Given by the boy I thought I love. The boy I was first attracted to in elementary. The boy I'd like to be my husband. Yep, puppy love. A very silly puppy love.

*a Christmas letter from Merlina, my ex-best friend, six years ago - Reading it again, it felt funny to know how Merlina and I used to be so crazy for each other years ago. We are like sisters. We are so close that we even call each other "Fers" and "Mers." We are so happy together until we entered high scool. We fell apart and stopped talking. Now, we are neighbors but still, we are never really seeing each other.

I couldn't help but sigh. Things are really different now. Before, I'll admit, I'm happy-go-lucky. Superficial. But when high school entered my life, like a scene from a teleserye, all was changed. Suddenly, I'm the new JEN.

And I love it. The new me.

What has been happening?

2006-03-30T18:33:00.000-08:00

What has been happening?

this is what you call- Fast Posts. Duh

*March 27
- Deadly exams in English 1
- History paper polishing with buddies Maddie and Romy

*March 28
-Endless reviewing in History
-Brin's birthday.. Cheeers!!
-50% room cleaning

*March 29
-The dreaded History exams
-I went home with Ate Mara
-I'm officially the new UPJC FinCom Head. Yeah, can't take all the flattery
-MP10 project- in a state of panic

*March 30
-I'm missing TooCool-its, my subjects, the tambayan, the campus,
the IKOT jeepneys and my professors.

Happy Birthday, Brin

2006-03-28T18:45:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday, Brin!!!
(aka George, Bush and Sabrini)

Hpoe you'll have a blast today. May your wishes come true and thanks for the wonderful gift of friendship!! You're one of the coolest guys I met around UP. And I'm thankful for it!!

Godbless you.
Happy Birthday again.

Officially Summer

2006-03-25T17:43:00.000-08:00

Officially Summer

Yep. It is summer.
Can't believe it. Time surely flies so fast that you end up not noticing it.

I'm finally home. In Bulacan.
But it's not bakasyon-grande yet because I still got exams and paper-editing to do.
But after those stuff, I'm officially refusing to do any school work or advance studying until May to have a WONDERFUL SUMMER .
(Please, Lord, Help me keep this promise.)

*This Summer, I will/must:
1. Sleep like I'm hibernating or something
(makabawi man lang sa isang taon kong pagpupuyat)
2. Eat and gain weight
3. Do some crunches (for fab abs) and some arm exercise (para may kaunti namang muscle)
4. Cleam my room-BIG TIME
5. Swim, swim and swim.
6. Do my "Ate Vi Scrapbook"
7. Babysit.
8. Travel. Yep. That must really be done.
9. Write more fiction
10. Learn to cook
11. Spend some time with friends and have FUN.

*In May:
Take:
-writing workshops (poetry sana)
-piano lessons (hopefully)
-one spiritual seminar

Yeah, I'm pretty serious when I said I'm going to have a summer full of blast.

I thought it was over

2006-03-23T22:56:00.000-08:00

I thought it was over

Yep. I really thought the semester's over and I was heading to this one word I'm really excited about: Vacation.

But gosh, I was soo wrong.
I am not complaining. You know how I love school and I'm actually obsessed with school work, it's just that.. I'm sort of tired. Right now.

I can still remember last week. I wasn't able to take the exams in Natsci2 because I can't even go to school. For the first time in my entire life, I give up studying and choose sleep instead.

thank you, Jesus for the make-up exam that I think worked.

Everyone was so worried beacuse I looked drained. That's scary.
And now! It felt like deja vu. I've got loads of things to do before I'm officially FREE.

There's that blog thing in MP10 not to mention the folio I need to edit, the finals in ENG1, The major paper in History and some reaction papers and of course, finals in KAS1 (the coverage is the whole book plus numerous readings), some papers in my Anthropology class and more fiction.

I think I need to swallow atleast two pieces of Motolite.

Goodluck to me.
And please, pray for my health too.

Happy Birthday, Maia!!!

2006-03-19T03:44:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday, Maia!!!
(cheers!!!)

Hmmp. It's not really fair. We are both in first year college but look at you, it's just your 17th birthday. I mean, why? Now I feel like your "ate." Eeck.

Just kidding.
You know I can always be an "ate" to you. Swear.

I was actually in a state of intense panic because some of my projects look impossible. I am really busy but still, I can't let this day pass without greeting one of the good souls I met in UP.

Maia, it's been quite awhile since we've become friends. I never really thought we'll hit off together because the moment I first looked at you, I thought you are soo shy . but I was so wrong. You're easy to typecast, yes. But once people get to know the REAL Maia, they'll be astonished to find out you're absurd and insane. In a cute way. Haha.

I'm so glad you became my friend.
Thank you for everything. I hope you could feel how appreciative I am for the gift of friendship you gave me and the rest of the cool gang. You are one wonderful girl and I hope you know jow special you are to us.

So to MAIA,
the girl who is so darn good in making other people feel better when they're actually rotting,
the girl who had her heart broken but deserves a prince, actually,
the girl who can crack up a good joke without really trying hard,
the girl who is nuts for anime and all those wide-eyed girls in plaid mini skirts,
the girl who always say I'm writing good though I feel that my works are of major crappy,
the girl who'll willingly do all sorts of weird things with me anytime,
the girl who can brought out the best in other people (kahit wala man),
the girl who'll always have a special part in my heart,

Happy Birthday.
Live life to the fullest. love life. Love yourself and God.

Love you, dear.
Rock on.

the National Museuem escapade. bow

2006-03-14T06:49:00.000-08:00

the National Museum escapade. bow

...just let me finish all these school works thrown on me, and I'll tell you why this trip was such a blast..

Kung baga:

Coming soon:
Museum Scandal
(director's cut)

*starring:
Alvin
Rayka
Jen
Maia
Anna

with the special participation of Manong guard

The Best Org ever

2006-03-13T02:19:00.000-08:00

The Best Org ever

UP Journalism Club, you really know how to rock.
Though I must admit that I nearly broke down from all those sorts of things "The Cool Crowd"--Vienna, Dano, Ate glends and Ate Ieth and moi, of course, did, i'll say it again. UPJC Rocks.

Salamat, salamat sa lahat ng members ng UPJC.
I swear, you guys made me a lot stronger.
You thought me so much and I can't imagine UP life without being in your Fantabulous fantastic and fabulous) organization.

Sa "The Cool Crowd", I fell in love with all the love and friendship we gave to each other. I'm glad na kayo ang batchmates ko.
I'll never forget that pageant thing and of course the one act that has the word "gross" all over it.

*Sa mga wala pang org dyan, UPJC na.
and have the time of your life. I promise

Salute to All Women

2006-03-08T03:39:00.000-08:00

March 08, 2006
Salute to All Women

Happy Women's Day!!

I attended a program entitled "The UP Women, on various roles, on various endeavors" and WOW! I was really amazed to see that indeed, today's women are becoming stronger and braver.
One speaker-professor actually said:
"Gone are the days when men dominated the world."

Yep, that is so true.
So, girls, lets all roar: I'M PROUD TO BE A WOMAN!!!

*To all the women I know and to those I still don't know,
*To the many women behind my success and failure,
My Grandma, my Mom, Tita's, SOLID SIX, the cool gang(minus Alvin and Brin), Teacher Mila, my favorite professor(yung naka-dangling earrings), my UP female teachers and of course, Ate Vi,
*To the mother of my loving creator, Mother Mary
*To myself,

SALUTE to all of us.
HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY.
Let us continue to rock on.

Of Changes and Peculiar Feelings

2006-03-07T04:19:00.000-08:00

Of Changes and Peculiar Feelings

I have always been afraid of change. Especially major ones.
But sometimes, changes have to happen.
Sometimes to change is the only way to get out.

Now that the school year is about to end, I tried looking back on the year that has been. Yep, my first year in college was a total blast. Not only I was in a school way cooler than any other schools, I met a lot of cool people that made my college life more fun. However, I can't deny the times wherein I knew I have done things that weren't so perfect. And now, for some reasons, I feel awful. Regretful.

I guess, now is the right time to let changes come into my life.
It wouldn't be easy though. But sometimes, change is good.

This don't mean that I'm going to change physically.
Chop my hair or get a tattoo.
I am not running away. Neither going away.
I'll still be me.
Just revolutionized.

Bittersweet

2006-03-04T04:15:00.000-08:00

Yep, I'm actually over with the postponed trip.
Finally.

February 24,2006

Shattered Dreams and Broken Baguio

Baguio must have been furious with me. I asked it to wait for me but then,
I broke my promise. I didn't show up.
Yes, The Baguio trip was cancelled. Darn.

Our professor has no choice but to do so because of the impending coup.
In case you're wondering why, today is the EDSA commemoration. There were thousands of rallyists preparing to hold a big program to oust Gloria. And because the situation became literally difficult to handle, the president declared the nation in a state of emergency.
This proclamation 1017 enables the warrantless arrest of police officials to rallyists and their leaders. To the rallyist, this is a total insult to our human rights.

From 7 am, I was actually focused on the television because the events are so intense. There were cops everywhere, Professor Randy David was on TV and UP students are sought by the police. Chaos was really about to start. By 11 o'clock, I received the most bitter text: The trip was cancelled.

Gosh, everyone was actually looking forward on having to spend the entire weekend in Baguio. Everyone of us is excited to chill out and have the time of our lives.
But then, it turned ugly.

I don't blame anyone. I mean, I can't.
What happened is not anyone's fault.
But guess what, I hate the thought-We have a rotten government. Really.

Let's join hands in praying that may peace and unity reign.
May the Lord guide our president so wahtever she'll do will be according to the Lord.
Dear Lord, heal our land.

Wait for me, Baguio

2006-02-23T23:22:00.000-08:00

Wait for me, Baguio

For some resons, parang tao yung Baguio no?
Kailangan akong intayin.

Whoa. Just finished packing. I can't actually wait for tomorrow. It's been quite awhile since I last went there.

But tomorrow my friends and I will sure kick ass in Baguio.
How? Uhm, I'm still not sure. haha

*Contents of Jen's suitcase:

1. a denim jacket (I get cold really easily)
2. a white cotton jacket (If someone stole my denim one, I'll have an extra)
3. my new DKNY sweatshirt (yeah, new.)
4. tees, jeans and bermudas
5. flip-flops
6. heater (in case the hostel's heater broke, I wouldn't die)
7. The 2001 Likhaan Book of Fiction and Poetry (The perfect time to read this is when I'm sipping some hot coffee by the porch, overlooking the pines)
8. some papers and pens ( I was planning to do the MP10) project there)
9. mp3 player (thanks Maia, for putting songs on it)
10.my planner and organizer
11. extra blanket
12. Chay (my turtle/alligator/penguin stuff toy named after my Mom)
13. toiletries and cosmetics

Whew! That's it. I guess, packing can be a bit tiring.
Oops, Gotta go. Have a seminar to attend and a poetry reading to organize!
Ciao.

a dash of dream, a pinch of patience

2006-02-19T22:45:00.000-08:00

a dash of dream, a pinch of patience

I love cooking.
Or I will love to learn this art. That's better.

To be honest, I'm actually in love with the smell of different spices and ingredients when they got mixed together. I adore the aroma of fresh meat (Ugh, for some), sliced veggies (Blech, for my veggie-hating cousins) and of course, sauteed garlic and onion. And lastly, I enjoy putting the cooked food on some dainty china ware and place them on the dining table with that look of approval from the guests.
Wow. That's an art. An obra maestra.

I wish I'm a great cook. I really long to be one.

You see, I came from a family of great cooks.
According to my clan history, my great, great, great grandfather was a chief baker and so was his wife. My grandpa, a certified Kapampangan, can make the perfect Hamonado and the town's most delectable leche flan in a flash. My grandma and her mother are both great chefs during their adulthood. My Mom cooks sumptuous Japanese dishes (my favorite) like she's been doing it since birth. While Tita Beth, my youngest aunt can actually do all sorts of dishes. From Chinese to Indian, from Kare-kare (another favorite) to Cordon bleus.

But it seemed that my roots forgot to pass the "legendary skill" on me.
Hey, don't look at me in that way. I know naman how to cook kahit papaano.
Just you know, the basic frying and baking.
Besides that, I'm history.
I didn't even know how to cook sinigang. Tsk,tsk,tsk. What a pity.

And so, I made a promise to myself.

Every weekend when I'm in Baliuag, I'll cook.
I'll practice the art little by little.
I know I wouldn't learn how to cook like a pro overnight so gradually, I'll do it.

And that sinigang, I swear, it'll be next week's assignment.

2006-02-15T22:02:00.000-08:00

February 14
Happy Valentine's Day..I'm single, so what?

I have to admit that I was actually grinning when I woke up.
Not because it was Valentine's and I'm expecting for a "special someone" at my door with a huge bouquet of flowers, waiting for me to wake up,
(though I did receive some "worth the blush text messages")
but I was happy. Last Monday, TOOcool gang decided to watch concert at the UP sunken garden for our Valentine's date. It was our way to be happy and not be envious of the sappy couples that will be around us that day.
But the moment I enter our classroom,
It went ugly.
That Monday too, we've decided to wear something red today. However, to my dismay, only three of us succumbed to that plan.
I said,"'di ba, red?" and my friends started explaining their reasons for wearing black, purple and fuschia.
I knew getting infuriated was too much, I mean, this is so shallow but I really felt bad that time. Can't help it.I feel so rotten.
I hate it when people, especially those I love break their words.

It was really hard to fake a smile whenever some of them ask me,
"Uy, okay ka lang ba?" and "Galit ka ba?".It was really difficult especially when Alvin was cracking jokes all the while on our way to Mang Jimmy's for lunch.
Thank God, I had my shades on. I swear, naluluha na ko sa kapipigil ng tawa.

(For a change, let's add some photos dito sa blog ko. Hindi puro nalang words,words at words.)

*Here's a pic sa classroon namin. See, I looked happy. "di masyadong halatang galit ako."

* This one is taken sa Mang Jimmy's. Again, I looked happy.

However, by 2 o'clock, I think I failed. I realized that yep, I was angry but those people who are so "pasaway" that they wear purple and black when said wear red are my friends. I guess, I love them. And it's hard for me to actually ignore them.

By four pm, we were acting like little rascals.
nakalimutang may nangyari kanina
This how wacky we have celebrated the Heart's Day.
*This is Maia, pretending she's in Baguio

* This is my twin, the uhm, mineral water model.

*Presenting the gang, the wacky/pasaway/weird/ but COOL gang in their insane shots.

* the little girl is Aica, Brin's new found love

*Foot loose

Happy Valentine's day, everyone.
To those who are in love, good for you.
To those who are still looking for someone to love, good luck.
To all of us, spread the love!!!

*To my family, old friends, SOLID 6, Teacher Mila, and to the guy I once love,

POST-less

2006-02-12T02:48:00.000-08:00

POST-less

Yep. I'm really post-less.
Not that nothing special/worth sharing/exciting happened for the past week.
Actually, a lot happened yesterday. However, the pics weren't uploaded yet so, I guess, I have to wait.
Oh well, siguro random thoughts na lang muna.

I thank Maia, Anna, Joanne and Rayka for that wonderful malling we had just a few hours ago. I know you guys are a bit sad because our attempt to ice-skate failed. But I promise, we'll try it again.

My greatest thanks to Joanne again for that sleep over. It was my pleasure to have you in my place. And of course, I'll never forget that "worth the blush" moment sa jeepney.

Kudos! to the whole UPJC gang. The photoshoot was beyod amazing. Wonderful make-up, Dano! Ate Anna, you're really, really cool. I swear, if I'll have one peso for every smile and laughter you gave me, naku, mayaman na ko talaga.

Right now, yes, at this moment, I can't wait to see the pictures from the shoot because I'm soo excited to show them to my friends.

Okay, yun lang.
Post-less pa ko ng lagay na 'to ha.

Of Love and Changes

2006-02-05T02:02:00.000-08:00

Of Love and Changes

They say it's the Grandest thing...
February 01

I was sprawled on the floor at 7 pm and is having a one-on-one meeting with my Kas1 readings when across me, Ate Cats suddenly turned her CD player on, picked a suspiciously-looking CD then shrugged.
I was on the verge of memorizing the Philippine map when the song playing caught my attention.

BOTH SIDES NOW
Joni Mitchell

Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons ev’rywhere
I’ve looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on ev’ryone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s cloud illusions I recall
I really don’t know clouds at all

Moons and junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As ev’ry fairy tale comes real
I’ve looked at love that way

But now it’s just another show
You leave ’em laughing when you go
And if you care, don’t let them know
Don’t give yourself away

I’ve looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say I love you right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I’ve looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I’ve changed
Well something’s lost, but something’s gained
In living ev’ry day

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all
I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all

It was from the film "Love Actually" played when Emma Thompson was controlling herself from hysterically crying after she found out that the necklace her husband bought isn't for her. That's one of my favorite parts. Not all wives are like that.
Not showing the bitterness they feel so their kids won't worry for them.

The song, obviously is a song of heartbreak. A song of a person who first thought that love is the coolest feeling in this world. True. But not at all times.
One should be looking at both sides of it.
Its give's and takes's, its pain and pleasure.
After all, nobody wants to wound up getting hurt.

January 30
No more Mr. funny guy

At 10:30 am, I found myself doodling on my ultra big scratch paper(courtesy of Ate Mara) on Nat Sci 2 class. ON CLASS!-while the professor is actually talking about ribosomesoriginoflifechemthingwharver. I was alarmed. I mean , I don't do that in class. Yeah, call me nerdy. Call me a geek.

You see, we are supposed to have two professors in this class. One for Geology, one for Biology. The first half of the sem goes to Sir David, the ultra cool-uber-funny-
guy who never fails to crack some corny jokes that send all of his students rolling on the floor. And today, unfortunately, we have to end Geology and head right away to Bio.

The new professor is fine. She looked really sleek and professional. Mga nasa early 40's siguro. But unlike Sir David, the new professor seems really serious. Nothing bad about it kaya lang, parang my classmates and I are so used to having a fun and carefree teacher that today, We're sorry but I guess we can't help it, 3/4 of the class have already gone to Slumber Land. If not, some of us are whispering to each other, daydeaming, reviewing for the next subject or doodling.

I guess, the "oh-so-jolly" times are gone. I think I should deal with this na lang.
Tsaka, malay natin, after a couple of meetings, our new prof would loosen up a bit.

(Sigh...)

Announcement:

2006-01-29T05:26:00.000-08:00

Announcement:

Calling all young, unpublished and Pinoy poets!!
Unleash that talent in you and share those written art you've created.
I can't exactly elaborate why I need those poems but I assure you guys,
it's for a good deed.

Come on, spear Neruda and Cummings..

*Mag-tag na lang po kayo sa aking tagboard for more details

Just Plugging..

2006-01-28T01:43:00.000-08:00

Just Plugging..
My ultimate favorite professor is having this cool thing going on so please, if you guys have time, check it out and SPREAD THE NEWS! merci.

Record your music for only P400/hour. We are an
extension of MMR studio in Xavierville operated by
Billy of Kiko Machine.

Our stuff is new - nerve center is Pro Tools 7
software with the M-Audio Delta 1010LT and the
Behringer ADA8000.

While your bandmates are recording, feel free to
sit around and relax - we've got space. :) May
separate smoking area din. Libreng kape pa. 3-in-1
nga lang, pero libre pa rin. :)

Opening promo, P2,500 per song (worth it if you go
over 6 hours) - no minimum number of songs
required. P2,000 na lang sa 4th song onwards.

Location: Apartment N, Malingap cor Matimtiman st,
Sikatuna Village, right beside Bayantel.

Email: track2studio@gmail.com.

Cellphone numbers: 09205514176, 09178513164.

Must Be Real..Yeah.

2006-01-28T01:18:00.000-08:00

Must Be Real..Yeah

One sleepless Friday, I was busy studying and reading some photocopied stuff for MP10 when my cellphone beeped.

I was happy. I mean, it was almost 1:30 am. Whoever that fellow insomniac is, it's happy to know that he/she remembered me. At a very ungodly hour.
To my dismay, it was just my horoscope which came a little later due to some unknown reasons. Baka na-traffic. haha

Anyway, I was about to delete it right away bacause I don't believe on those stuff(the reason I got daily horoscope is that my cousin accidentally subscribed me to that thing)but somehow, the horoscope seems too true that I read it twice. It said:

"Maybe it's time to get a grip and open yourself up to new people and new relationships. You should never be stucked with things not worth giving a second chance. Give it a shot and see for yourself."

I sighed. Yep. Right. For the past few days, I've been really bitter deep inside. I just hide the sour feelings when I'm at school and when in front of my friends so that they don't have to worry about me. But when I went home from school, I find myself slumped on one corner and wishing I COULD DO SOMETHING.

But maybe, THIS wasn't worth fighting for. I mean, maybe I wasn't meant to have a happy ending now. Yeah. That's it.

So, Farewell, Old-mushy-undying-love.
Hello, WORLD!!!

V for Victory

2006-01-22T01:05:00.000-08:00

V for Victory

I was actually busy fixing my clothes when I realized that I have stopped.
Why?
My eyes were suddenly glued on the silver screen watching a Mexican hunk and a Pinoy man attack each other inside the boxing ring.

During the 11th round the Mexican hunk gave up with a broken nose while the Pinoy was crying then, smiling, then crying and smiling then frantically waving his hand on air..

Yep, Pacquiao won!!
And though I loathe watching boxing (and wrestling)match, I've got to admit that I was hooked on that much-awaited Morales-Pacquiao fight.
I couldn't help but smile when the Pinoy man, a fellow Filipino dominated not just the ring, but the world as well.

Updates!

2006-01-17T18:45:00.000-08:00

Updates!
Okay. I knew it. I really admit it. I’m a shameful blogger. I’m on way to the make it to the list of Top 15 Pathetic Blogger ever walked the face of the Internet. Sheesh.

Since the week ago, I’ve been working like nonstop. Honest. Papers and projects were thrown to us like they were rain showers while some professors decided to bombard us with several 100-item exams. Being the workaholic (School-oholic, I guess.) and an insomniac I am, I’ve been up most of the night than drift down to Slumber Land to finish stuff a little bit earlier. At the back of my mind, I keep asking myself where did all those energy come from? I mean considering my frailness and body size, I might have snap out a long time ago. Had I swallow a Motolite without realizing it? I kept thinking about it but then I got tired.

Things got pretty loose this week. Some of my exams were already done and several assigned papers have already been submitted. My to-do tasks have been reduced to three major things: 1.) the festival reporting (regions 6-8) 2. Application to UP Writer’s Club 3. Documentary. Actually, these are fine. The only thing that kept on hassling me is the documentary. I have to admit it’s stressful. Well, I guess I have to swallow some Motolite again. Only this time, consciously. So I could keep track on my intakes.

But you know what? Though sometimes being drowned with school work actually makes my head throb in an unexplainable way, there is an urge of excitement and joy in my heart whenever I see my planner fully loaded with tasks. Kind of weird
but true.

And before I start to mull over this weirdness of mine, let me update you with what happened to me for the past few weeks. Kahit boring. haha.

*Friday, Jan.13, I had an incredibly big date with Anna and Rayka. It so happened that our hip professor, Ma’am Ortiz didn’t go to class that day. So while waiting for our next classes, we decided to pig-out in a pizza parlor in Philcoa.
*Last Saturday, I went to the scary and really red “Bahay na Pula” to look for the person we’re going to interview on the 21th. After that I have my braces finally fixed and adjusted. And my oh my, what do you expect? Inability to eat food unless they’re noodles or mashed potato + the pain of the new brackets against my lips = torturing pain.
*This Monday, after school I went jogging with Ate Mara, Ate Queenie and Ate Pam at Ateneo. We were panting from 7:00- 8:30. I wasn’t supposed to be coming with them because I was planning to work on my fiction assignment but I couldn’t resist their invitation. I feel like being hypnotized. Tuesday, after my PE, line dance, I went straight to the university film institute to watch some documentaries by The Probe. It was unusually dark inside the room and really chilly. There were three documentaries. One about migrating, a girl named Julia who sings like she’s from heaven and a tribute to Ninoy Aquino’s death. Then when that's over, the Great Ms. Cheche Lazaro appeared from nowhere and guess what? I was starstrucked. Really.
Gosh, she's so great! It's really amazing to see her talk and give advices to young journalists like me. Hay.

"The Youth is the hope of our Motherland"
-she kept saying this line, and yeah, she's right. Definitely right.

What do I remember about 2005

2006-01-10T01:22:00.000-08:00

I was checking out some blogs when I spotted a very interesting post. The blogger listed all the significant things that highlighted her 2005. I found it cool and cute. So,though it's a bit late for this, let me share the events, wackiness, memories, people and the "everything under the sun" stuff that rocked my 2005 with you.

What do I remember about 2005?
January
New year clan reunion. Classmate's freak accident. Reconciliation with T.S. Admit to self that I like HIM. Bingo Fever. My Falldown.

February
Okay, I fell inlove with HIM. Worst bronchitis attack. True Love Awaits Seminar. Retreat in Lipa. Teacher Mila and I--closer than ever. Sort of date with HIM. I passed UP!!!. School Paper named "Best in Region 3".

March
Endless career talks. Endless graduation practice. Radio drama Fest. My story: "In the face of my Enemies" won the the Best Sory. Mom-not coming home. Class prophecy given to me. Got six awards. Graduation. New D&G light blue. Annual "pabasa". Hair rebonded. Phone finally fixed.

April
Billy's swimming party. Distribution of cards. Teacher Mila's I-can't forget-lines. Pope John Paul's funeral. Been to LHC-first time. Batangas Vacation. catholic Life in Spirit Seminar. Town fiesta. semi-car accident. Lots of swiming. Tan of my life.

May
Mother's day. Enrollmant in UP. New friends. Freshman orientation. Obando festival. Bessi- caught!. Bessi and I- Enchanted Kingdom Invasion. I cursed Anchor's Away. Antipolo Church.

June
Officially college. Met my flatmates. New friends. Tropang C# was born. Elected as Block Head Assistant. Grandma's birthday. I sart to love CW10. Math class- a threat. Blog is born. Movie date with friends (Closer). Rookie camp. Henna and Glitter tattoos. Carlo's birthday. Kuya Ogie's birthday.

July
First major concert with Ate regine, Ate PAm and Rayka. Sleepover at Ate Regine's. Chin's birthday. Friendship with the CW10 people. I adore CW10 class. And the professor. Math teacher finally introduced himself. UAAP Season. Volunteer Work. UPJC application. Acquaintance Party. The shocking text message. Camille's birthday. Join Klub Tala. Mom came home. Mega bond with Aki and Yugi. "Tuyo" conversation. New D&G again. Mp3 player. Kimono costume wotn in KAS2 class. I so love writing.

August
Ate Beth's birthday. Espionage. TooCOOLits was born. Xyza's birthday. Ultimate Philcoa trip. Batangas beach. Laguna trip. Mom and kids went home. UPJC Initiation. Mom's birthday. ACLE with magazine editors and Asia A. "Stressed in The City" book. Yugi's birthday. MDSF's Linggo ng Wika. Mimi and I conjoined.

September
End of math problems. Bessie visits UP. Mother Mary's birthday. My 17th birthday. Yellow cab feasting. She's the greatest. Ate Mara's birthday. Jenika bear. Anna's letter. Birthday surprise. UAAP Cheering competiton. Kuya Jon's birthday. 612 Party. The Monkey and the Butterflies. Rayka and I's play date. Yeah, I can't forget you. Last CW10 class. Picture taking with CW10 people and Ma'am Yap. First signed book. The message. The reply. Intramuros Escapade.

October
Mila-Jen day. Rayka's birthday. THREESOME in Glorietta (that's me, Anna and Rayka). First sem's over. The e-mail. Ninang's birthday. Friendster blues. SOLID 6's date. Sembreak. Press Conference. Miss school. I realized WE WERE NOT MEANT to be together. Hooked in Pinoy Big Brother.

November
Halloween. Camille and I's no-adults trip. SOLID 6's birthday. Charles's 1st birthday. Mimi invades Katipunan. Enrollment. Moviefest with TooCOOLits. Resumption of Classes. Filipino writing class. Star City. The dangling earrings. USTE date with Bessie and Janina. Cultural trip with Mims and Ms. Maricel. Mommy Myles's birthday.

December
Traitor flip flops. Hooked with Cristina Hidalgo's books. I can write Filipino. Manila trip with Carlos Celdran. Mimi and I's sleepovers. 168. Plain shirts obsession. UPJC Christmas Party. Sleepover at Kuya Paul's. Audrey Hepburn's flicks. Oblation Run. Lantern Parade. Television appearance. Grand book shopping. Christmas break. Christmas. Reunion. Total blast. Someone HOPES to forget another someone.

Yep, the year 2005 has been sooooo great.
I thank my Lord for giving me a wonderful 2005.

Bring me lots of luck 2006,
Rock my world, BIG TIME.

Jen's A To Z

2006-01-03T22:36:00.000-08:00

Jen's A To Z

(Paano, Mims, pipiritahin ko na 'to ha?)

A- Are you afraid of the dark?
Definitely. The dark just gives me the creeps. Parang something will grab me sa lugar na madilim. Kung may flashlight, okay lang.

B- Balut, Worm o Giniling?
Pambihira naman. Lahat ito ayaw ko pero kesa naman kumain ng worms, giniling na lang siguro.

C- Can you keep a secret?
Yes! I'm the person who knows the value of trust. Naks.

D- Do you dance?
I love to. Cheerdance, Social, Line(haha), Folk or ballet, name it, I'll do it!

E- Ever dream of being a boy?
Nah. Actually, I really enjoy being a girl. Not only girls are complex but they're also fun!! No offense, boys but girls rock big time.

F- French fries, French toast o French kiss?
Haha. I'm really hungry right now so I'll defitely grab the first two and happily pass on the third one.

G- Gusto mo bang magka-super powers?
Oo naman. Gusto kong makabasa ng isip ng ibang tao, mahulaan ang hinaharap at makapagbigay ng libreng edukasyon(at tsokolate) sa mga bata.

H- Hello Kitty fan ka ba?
Yep. Ever since I'm 8. Up to now, still.

I- If you were to live again, who'd you want to be?
Celine Dion. I can be a writer, a businesswoman or even a pediatrician but never will I be given a chance to be a singer. Isa pa, I really like her. Singing Diva ba naman.

J- Jologs ka ba?
Hmmmm.Malamang. Corny ako eh. At kung friendster ang batayan( sabi nga ni Mims) eh, Oo, kasi may account pa ko.

K- Kung mat tatlong bagay(bawal tao) na mahalaga sa iyo, ano yun?
Gosh. I feel like I'm in a TV talk show. Haha.
*Pag-aaral at Pagsulat
*Yung mga personal things ko
*Pagtuturo sa mga bata

L- LSS(current)
You and I both by Jason Mraz at Jingle Bell Rock namin ni Mimi

M- Must-haves of a UP freshie
Uhm, Meg magazine?
1. flip flops- spare yourself from sore feet due to endless walking
2. lots of coins- for IKOT at TOKI rides
3. set of dependable friends- dahil mas masarap anf buhay UP pag ishe-share mo sa mga taong matatawag mong "kaibigan"
4. UP shirt- flaunt it, baby!
5. that smile- all you need is one smile, dear.

N- Nerd ka ba?
Oo yata. sabi rin nila. Ala kong magagawa eh. Geekoid.

P- Paboritong propesor sa kolehiyo
Lahat ng mga naging at propesor ko ngayon magagaling pero ang pinaka- the best sa kanilang lahat eh si Ma'm Yap. As in April Timbol Yap.

O- Older, younger or same age boyfriend?
I'd go for older or same age boyfriend. Ayaw sa younger. Ano ako? Baby sitter?

Q- Quotable Quote
"Kung hindi tayo, sino? Kung hidi ngayon, kailan?"

R- Regalong nais matanggap sa birthday mo
Hang on, I'll get my list.

S- SOLID 6 ROCKS.
Yeah, Bessie, Phine, Janina, Jela, Cholyn and I rule. Period.

T- Type of guy
I go for tall guys. The one with nice smile and has a flair for arts. Any field. He has to be God-fearing and a gentleman. Ayaw kalbo.

U- UP introduced you to great people like
*TooCOOL-its *Mimi *April Yap * UPJC people *CW10 fellows *Gretch and Kristel

V- Vilma, Sharon o Nora
Siyempre, Vilma Santos. Kahit wala pa siya sa choices, siya pa rin pipiliin ko.

W- What is Love?
Love is vague that it's hard to understand. It makes you sinfully vulnerable.

X- X, Y o Z?
Puede bang w nalang? x,y and z's remind me of Algebra. Dang
Y- Your greatest treasures
*God's love
*My family and friends
*My books
*My hello Kitty collections
*My Pandora's box
*My Vi-things
*That Up certificate that says "You Passed the UPCAT"
*Every written art

Z- Z for Zion
Yup. 10 years ago, this used to be my first name. As in Zion Jennifer. Somewhere during my 7th year on earth, it vanished.

*This post is tiring but I must admit it was soooo fun.

Happy Christmas

2005-12-25T01:01:00.000-08:00

Happy Christmas

Yep, there are political crises everywhere, typhoons that left many Filipinos homeless attacked a portion of the country and still, a million of children are hungry but let these not hinder us from celebrating Christmas.

After all, Christmas is a season of joy, peace and love.
Let us offer to each other what is incomparable to gifts.
LOVE.

Happy Christmas, again.

The Wishlist.

2005-12-20T18:56:00.000-08:00

The Wishlist.

I keep hearing Christmas songs wherever I go..
Sa shopping malls, sa bahay, sa computer shops, sa supermarkets..
Even my cousins are singing them off-key-ly. Haha.

Know what? CHRISTMAS IS TRULY JUST ROUND THE CORNER.

And because no christmas is complete without a wishlist, here's mine.
Santa, beware!!

1. new MP3 player
2. digicam - yung super compact.
3. PDA.(for that professional look, naks.)
4. pumps. in fuschia.
5. clutch bag. in black or white
6. A new Samsung phone.
7. "Getting Real" by Gemino Abad
8. "Creative NonFiction: A Manual" by Cristina Pantoja-Hidalgo
9. a pack of Cadbury chocolates. Chocettes. Yum
10. purple socks. Yep, I don't have one. Shame on me.
11. Shisheido UV White foundation. (kahit refill lang.)
12. for some reasons, I'd like to have a new puppy. I'll name him Scoot. haha
13. uhm, uhm, uhm..

*Yeah, material things.
However, I don't aspire to receive these all basta:
Sana lahat ng loved ones ko masaya and healthy. ALWAYS.

To my friends, SOLID 6,Miss you all. Let's have a big christmas date. TooCOOL-its, MERRY CHRISTMAS, guys. I miss you all..
MIMS, Miss you , too!
To my family, Merry Christmas!!
Mom, I'm thinking of you this christmas, wish you're here.
I love you, guys!!!

Ay, LSS na 'to

2005-12-11T05:29:00.000-08:00

Ay, LSS na 'to

As symptoms of the great insomnia start creeping in me
a couple of months ago, I started being wide awake at ungodly hours.

At 2 am, I'd still be restless. Either weirdly cleaning the bathroom, sweeping the floor, writing some poetry or looking at my Pandora's box, these are my regular routines. But time came, I got pretty tired and then, I discovered a new hobby.

Listening to Jason Mraz. When I can't fall asleep.
Putting track no.5 on the repeat mode. Yeah.
However, instead of his music lulling me to sleep, he gave me a syndrom.

Oo, LSS.

That You and I, naku! In the CR, bedroom, AS lobby, maski sa Ikot jeep, I"d caught myself softly singing the song.

Buti na lang, pretty yung song di'ba?
Anyway, this LSS-causing song is one of my fave na.
So if your insomniac, might as well sing with me.

You & I Both
words & music by jason mraz

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
And taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
A little bird who'll sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
What you and I spoke of
Others only dream of the love that I love

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive
Now you and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore
And with this silence brings a moral story
more importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm already finally out of

and it's okay if you have go away
just remember the telephone works both ways
and if I never ever hear it ring
if nothing else I'll think the bells inside
have finally found you someone else and that's okay
cause I'll remember everything you sang

you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm already finally out of words.

"you and I both...
you and I spoke...(konting hum)
you and I...( continuous hummimg)"

Ay, LSS nga. Dang

Series of UNPOSTED Events

2005-12-02T22:33:00.000-08:00

Series of UNPOSTED Events

I'm so sorry. Life gets too busy sometimes. So like a flash report, here's what happened for the past days...

December 01 - What a Wonderful Feeling
- It really feels too good to know that you matter to someone you wish to look your way. Yung tipong kahit may kausap pa siya sa daan, papansinin ka pa rin. Haha

December 06 - No, we can't.
- I have to admit this. The TooCOOL-its, I wish I'm thinking wrong, is kinda falling apart. Yeah, I'm actually in a state of paranoia. I'm actually starting to imagine worst endings. Waaaaah. I hope we're not coming to an end. I can't take bitter endings. Certainly not.

December 08 - Yey, I can write FiLIPINO( cheers!!!)
- We had workshops in MP 10 and that includes palying critics. I was really nervous because I know for a fact that I suck in Filipino writing, big time. But to my amazement, my classmates and my professor liked the fiction I wrote. I thought it was sappy. The story, I mean. Haay, it was really overwhelming. Nothing can truly beat the feeling of tremendous joy that a fulfillment of a written art brings. It's just too good.

December 09 - Whatta Day!
*Ticket Madness- Haay, para lang sa mga bata, kaya hala!! go!!
I never thought that selling tix is quite hard. However, puede na yata ako as saleslady.
*UST blues- I went to my best friend's school to retrieve some tickets ant guess what? I went there alone. Yep, you heard it right. Alone. Braveheart no? UST's fine. Good scenery and good surroundings. But because I'm biased, there's only one great university for me. What else? but the Premiere University of the Philippines..(laughs)

December 10 - The Great Sleepover
- I'm staying at the condo for the weekend and sadly, I'm all by myself. I actually feel like singing Celine Dion's hit "All by Myself". I was on the verge of doing so when my co-soul, Mimi, agreed to sleep over at LHC. Haaay, from 9 pm to 2 am, we were chatting, doing renditions of "Tell Him" and crazily having a blast..
*Thanks, Mimi.. You're my star.( Asus.)

o, pano? nakabawi na ko ha?

Happy Birthday, Teacher Mila

2005-11-28T05:08:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday, Teacher Mila

She's an angel in disguise,
Her heart tell no lies,
Eternal beauty that will strike any man,
Because she's a phenomenal woman.

A mother, a teacher, a friend, that's her,
Loving, witty, funny altogether.
The poet's words can't make me laugh, it's not enough,
But she gave me the countless reasons to laugh.

The world may collide,
But still I'll be at her side.
If there's one thing that I shouldn't miss,
That's to say, "I'll be here" it's promise.

*Yep, this is certainly corny. But I don't mind, And I hope Teacher Mila won't too,
For the woman who plays Mother in my life and for someone who made me feel really special, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Stay perfectly beautiful.
Stay wonderful.
Never change.

I love you, always.

Happy birthday, Phine

2005-11-26T22:41:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday, Phine

Joseph-fin. Phinan-cial. Drama Queen. Hopeless Romantic.
These are just few of the weirdest names,
everyone has branded you in high school.
Yeah, these names really scream your personality but someone forgot to mention this:
A TRUE FRIEND. And let me add that.

To those who don't know Phine, besides from being pretty and simple,
Phine is always at my side when she feels that I need a friend.
she's very sincere, caring, loving that it's a blessing to have her in your life.

Phine, Happy, Happy Birthday.
Thanks for the four years of wonderful friendship. (and still counting)
I wish that may you be always happy.
I'm always here for you. Even if the whole world collide.
Thw world may turn its back on you but never will I.
I love you, I care for you and that won't change.

Happy Birthday again, cheers!!
I love you, very very much.

Happy 1st Birthday, Charles

2005-11-18T04:22:00.000-08:00

Happy 1st Birthday, Charles

To the most beautiful child I've seen,
To the cutest boy in the family,
(kuya carlo, you're the next, don't worry.)

To the heaven-sent baby who never fails to make me smile,
Who sends me laughing so hard whenever he performs those silly gestures,

Happy, happy birthday.

I know you're too young, you might not be able to read this but still, I want to tell the whole world that the family's too lucky to be blessed by a wonderful child like you.

I'm always here. I'd love to see you grow and I can't wait to play basketball with you and beat you in Tekken.

I love you, big time.

The Poem for .........

2005-11-17T22:09:00.000-08:00

A Poem for .........
C'mon. I can't believe you're actually expecting that I'll be including the name..
Who are you kidding? *laughs*

As usual, Mimi and I are in the lobby,and actually having the best time of our lives by endlessly talking.
Then, while on the verge of talking about blank' we decided to make a poem.
Yep, we're actually trying to be poetic.
And when you thought we have come up with something like Shakespeare's
or Cumming's ...

WE DIDN'T. hahaha

Actually, the poem's mega cheesy.
Like one of Lito Camo's songs. Rhyme kung rhyme.

Anyway, If for some miracle, blank would find and read the poem,
I tell you, this is true.
You're bedazzling.. For reasons sooo hard to explain.
Bedazzling..Absolutely.

*P.S:
Upload ko na lang, next time.
Promise.

It's into falling. And bruising too.

2005-11-15T02:37:00.000-08:00

It's into falling. And bruising too.

If rising from every bitter sweet fall is good and should be taken positively then today, I'd happily pass. I've had enough. Really.

The day started with a gloomy rainfall that reminds me of kulimlim days, I had a big breakfast with Mimi and boy, i was really stuffed. We headed to school and by 10:00 my groovy professor wasn't there yet. My friends and I decided to call it quits with waiting and went off. For 3 solid hours, we were free. Think I'm so lucky? Think again.

I, Reyks, GandhiAnna, Ja and Alvin were on our way to the Main Library when the falling begun. Okay, we're not talking about falling here as failing, heart being broken or anything emotional. I fell-literally. Jen tripped.
The pain brought by my first fall is quite okay.
The guys and I just laughed it off.
After the Library trip, we begun to walk our way to the Bahay Kalinaw. And right down the devil stairs, I fell. I sooo thank Rayka for catching me on time. For if she don't. I'm history. I'm sure to have a quarter of my bones broken and perhaps my head cracked open. KATAKOT.
It was so painful. Too painful that it is weakening my kness and making me feel that I'm totally beaten. But guess what? I still smile.
Yep, it hurts but smiling can take some of the pain away.
Yep again, it's really embarrassing but Things like this happen. right?
Whether it's bad omen or my heels that've caused it, I never really care.
The lesson for this day is to GET UP. Get up from every damn fall.
Whether it's tripping, failing or being rejected, Get up. Laugh it off. Plaster a smile on your face then walk away.

Because you're never tough when you don't get up.

When birthday greetings are terribly late

2005-11-14T12:26:00.000-08:00

When birthday greetings are so terribly late

My life has been REALLY wild-busy for the past week.
Want an evidence? Check the last time I've updated this blog..
What a pity, what a shame.

Oh, well I guess since school started, my schedule have been really busy
but still,allow me to greet these people who will always be
incredibly special to me.

NOV 12, 2005
Sweet Sixteen hits Janina

Parang headline no?
Whatever.
Happy birthday to you, my sweet friend. Not to mention pretty too.
I can still remember our moments together. Back at high school.
I can't help but smile whenever I clearly recall the way you brush your hair,
your eyes cutefully rolling when you're inis or something, the way you totally criticize my being iyakin, the many times you made me laugh whenever I whine..
But guess what I love reminiscin' the most?
The many times you showed me you love me and that
YOU'RE MY FRIEND.

This may have been said a lot of times but still,
I want you to know that I love you and I care for you big time.
People who are thinking of hurting you must think twice because I'll mess with them.Yeah, I'm not that tough-fighter chick but I don't care.
They just can't hurt my friend. Bahala na kung mabugbog pa ko,
Basta Janina, it's a promise.
(to those who did, I'll fight with you, soon. at the moment. I curse you!)

girl, keep rocking on.
I know you'll be fine because you're tough.
Just never forget that I'm here for you and I'm just a text away during school days. My friendship with you won't be hinder by distance.

Before I get too emotional, I wish for your happiness and success.
Again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I love you. God bless.

Dang, Accidentally in love, the OST of your life( I believe) with you singing it is echoing in my ears and guess what?
I miss you.

NOV 07, 2005
Another KACORNIHAN for you, Chollyn.

Hehehe.. I can almost imagine the look on your face when you see this another
KA-CORNIHAN of mine. But I really don't care.
Let me greet one the persons I truly love a happy birthday.

Chollyn. She's my cool friend. Math whiz and a girl with a sun shiny personality you'll wish you have and the with kind of friendship she have given me boy, you'll really wish you're me. Chollyn is always there to make us all laugh. Whether it's those funny and silly names she baptized all us every now and then, or the way she makes faces or the way she talks, she certainly have a way of cheering us all up.

Oo, corny 'to. Pero I wanna let you know I love you and I'm thankful that God let me have you as a friend. I hope that no matter what, we'll never stop from being friends kasi I don't wanna lose you. Stop laughing, it's true.

Remember the card you've given the whole Solid 6 last Christmas?
I kept it. Along with all the girls' letters and gifts to me.
Why? Not just for my Pandora's box thing but because it's one way to show that I value you. And up to now, I'm still thinking of more profound ways to show you that you're special to me.

Chollyn, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, again.
I love you, don't forget that.
See you around.

NOV 05, 2005
My Best friend's birthday

Happy Birthday to my bestfriend.
To those of you who have no idea who this chick is,well, she's just one of the coolest friends I have and one of the persons who made me believe, I CAN DO IT.
Like most best buds, yep. we certainly had our ups and downs, we fight-over big and small and partly stupid things but even if, here we are, still holding on and enjoying the fact that we've got each other.

Gosh, I'm so grateful I got her.
She's always there to love me no matter what.
Just a couple of days ago, i know, we had some misunderstandings bu I'm really gald you let me prove to you that I can't lose you.
You have been plastered in my life, and you'll remain there as long as i'm living.

To the girl I'll be ready to die for,
Happ Birthday. Please don't forget that I'll be here-ALWAYS.
I love you so much and may you always be happy..
I miss you..kisses

There. I know these greeting are pretty late but..
It's the thought naman that counts 'diba?
I love you three.

birthday girl

2005-11-04T00:44:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JELA!!!

For the girl who swears by chocolates forever, believes that first love never really dies, and convinces me that singing isn’t really my thing,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Having Jela as one of my closest best buddies is truly a blessing. She’s funny, witty, deadly-creative and a great listener. Among the Solid 6, she’s one of those I usually got to have heart to heart conversations with regards to love. This girl, I’ll admit, really amazes me. She’s got attitude. Such personality. And these are what I miss so badly about her.

Naalala ko pa kung paano siya nagiging unique. Not just with cool school projects, beautifully-crafted gifts that never fail to give a good smile, but as well as the way she carries herself. Kaya, friend, stay WONDERFUL, okay?

Ngayong birthday mo, I wish for your happiness, good health, success and fruitful love life? Oo, seryoso. Lucky is the guy who’ll win you because you loved amazingly.
Witness ata ako when you first loved.

Jela(Bond), I know it’s been quite awhile since the last time I said this but I hope you’ll remember this, we may be miles apart and I may be busy sometimes but never a moment did I forget that there are five people in this world that I’ll be forever grateful I have.
Maraming salamat, dahil kaibigan kita. Life would not be the same if you did not arrive in my world.
To Jela, who first called me pagong, who’ll surely roll her eyes whenever the song “I’d Rather” is playing, who thinks that chocolates are man’s greatest invention, who loved someone too much a long time ago and the girl who made me happy in so many countless ways,

Be happy today.
I love you really, really much.
Hugs plus kisses.

I'm still me. Promise.

2005-10-30T23:04:00.000-08:00

I'm still me. Promise.

Nakalimot ka na 'ata,
I couldn't believe when I heard this. I couldn't accept that it was being said to me, And I couldn't forgive myelf if I did.
When college came to my life, I swear-I became too busy. I became so into my studies but that doesn't mean I changed or I have forgotten my Solid 6, because THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN.

Solid 6, for almost four years now is one of the reasons I keep going and believing that I can be the best I can be. They're my best buddies, my partners in crime and my inspiration. I'll admit that since college attacked my life,we barely see each other. BUT, that wouldn't change anything.

A couple of nights ago,my Bessie, Phine and I are texting. And their comments that it seems I'm too busy, got new friends na and that nakalimot ka ata made it sooo clear to me that something is not so fine with us. and of course, I was alarmed and I realized that yeah, I have been pretty busy with school and another yes, I met some people that apparently became my companions but no, I never did forget my solid 6.

I'll repeat it. I.NEVER.WILL.FORGET.THEM. erasing solid 6(bonding,memories, friendship and all) from my mind is like taking my lungs and heart from my body. When that happens, imagine the picture: ME-dead.

Guys, I love you. I know you know that. I care for you and i hpo you'll always remember that. I owe all of you my life. For if it weren't for you, I swear, I wouldn't be the person I am today. You are like, tattooed onmy life and ther's no turning back on the promisewe made that we'll stay FOREVER.

Yep, college may all be killing us big time, new friends may come and distance may keep us apart but this i vow to you: I'm still me.

I may be a little independent and tougher now, may be more into writing and writing, may be wearing chandelier earrings now- for God's sake! but I'm still the old JEN. The girl who is iyakin, obssesed with cleanliness and neat-stuffs, the girl who siongs badly and most importantly, the same girl who loved you all.

SOLID 6, I love you.. very much.

"I'm tough." yeah, right.

2005-10-22T23:57:00.000-07:00

"I'm tough." yeah, right.

Oh dear, Please stop.

I don't like this. I don't like it when insane thoughts are haunting my mind.
And I hate it when I know that something's wrong but I'll keep it all to myself.

Like today, I came home from a happy event and most likely, I should be happy, right?
Yeah,I'm glad but part of me is troubled. As I slumped myself on my bed, I tried so hard to erase those ugly thoughts but they simply won'y go away.And my stubborness is making things worst. Yes, it's been a "hobby" of mine. I'm really not into sharing my problems with people for the sole reson that I don't want them to worry about me.
Call me selfish. But, I like it that way.

When some things are wrong, I want to fix them myself.
I want to solve them on my own.
And ONLY when I couldn't take it anymore, that's the only time
I'll say: "okay, I need help."

Yes.I know. It shouldn't be this way and I shouldn't be like this.
Pretend that I'm a tough girl all the time.
Fake myself as someone too,too strong always.
I guess, I should learn how to give up and ask help sometimes.
Anyway, this day wouldn't be better if it weren't for *god of sound, for patiently asking me " What's wrong?, C'mon tell." and for texting me and telling me that nothing's wrong thank you, my friend! To *Laarni, my friendship with you proved that distance won't change anything. It won't stop us from being friends. Thanks for talking to me.. made the pain go away..Thanks for convincing me that yeah, everything's okay, love you, always. And to the person who came up with the idea of Globe unlimited texting for just a few bucks, I salute him. It was such an amazing idea. I swear,

Good Lord, thanks for being with me. All the time.

Happy Birthday, Reyka!!

2005-10-13T23:58:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Reyka!!

It’s just another day, but this one’s the best of the year...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to one of my best buddies, UP introduced to me.

I can still remember the day we met, sa CAL, I was with Anna that time. One look at you, Masungit, I thought. The next day, I saw you again- we were classmates on the last Tuesday/Friday subject. After a couple of Uy, Hi! and Hello’s!, we were inseparable.

The three of us (together with Anna ) have been through a lot. From the hard-to-understand- Math class plus the twice hard-to-understand professor, never ending after- classes bonding and huddling over for some kwentuhan’s, the isaw and ice cream feasting after the trip from the not-so far AIT to the fun, fun, fun moments we continue to have. I thanked God for He let me share these things to you and I am so much grateful to him for doing a great job of putting you in my life’s storybook.

Yes, our friendship is too young. Some might even say that it’s too early to label this thing as friendship but, who cares? With the warm acceptance and the wonderful gift of friendship you’ve given me, I could almost fake it and say,Reyka and I? We’ve been friends for uhm, like a decade?

Let us vow NOT.NEVER to stop from being friends.

Happy Birthday again..
Here’s to more wonderful moments together and friendship forever

I Love You.. Too Too Much

like no other class

2005-09-30T22:48:00.000-07:00

like no other class

Today’s the last day of classes and for some strange reasons, I wasn’t rejoicing. Upon entering room 501- for my Cw10 class, I couldn’t help but mutter:

“Gosh, last day na ‘to.”

Yeah, and if it isn’t obvious yet, then I’ll say it. CW10 is the happiest class I’m into. Full of great people (with great minds) and is blessed by a way too cool professor, what is more to ask?
Being in UP, I was scared and intimidated. I hate to think that in some way or another, I’ll commit a horrible mistake, be laughed at and be totally embarrassed. However, in CW10, I may not always say the right answers and may not write a piece fit for a “Palanca Awards” but never did I feel I was unfit to write.
When I came to UP, I swear, I like writing. Writing is something I enjoy. Writing keeps me going and gives my being such fulfillment.
But when I took up this class ( overused na ‘ata CW10 no?), after each meeting with me fed with writing techniques and new ideas and inspiration, I realized I don’t like writing. I LOVE it.. love it.. love it.. Writing is my passion, my soul.

And for that, thanks,
My cool CW10 girlfriends, you guys, rock!! Love, always..
Ma’am yap, galing niyo po! Whatever urged me to choose you and the class on the CRS last April, I thank.
God bless and be safe.

The TEE-ng that counts...

2005-09-29T02:37:00.000-07:00

The TEE-ng that counts...

I am currently loving slogan tees.

Gone are the days when I went straight ahead to my “fave and safe” shops like Kamiseta, Bayo and Freeway for their classic pieces whenever I go shopping.
For at this point (obsess-with-“place item of choice”-phase), I swear, I just love those cool baby tees.

Well, of course, I’ll never ever wear those shirts with the “I’m a FLIRT” or “Wanted: Boyfriend” slogans. Mind you, I’ll rather be dead than be caught sporting these kinda
shirts. What I prefer are those with attitudes. Those that spell “COOL”.

The last few times I went shopping, I spotted some really must-snag shirts. And here are the slogans plastered on them that made them”to die for”.

*TRY ME, I’LL MAKE YOU FAMOUS- makes me feel like I’m a director or someone
really big, not to cross.
*CHOOSE TO BE PATIENT- like a quote from Gandhi, very inspirational
(and to think that when I saw this, I was seething with
anger and just bottling up inside, how appropriate!)
*No.1 CHEERLEADER- aah, the perks of being a cheerdancer, groovin’ to the tunes of
“Gwen Stefani” and “Jessica Simpson”
*”CLASS PRESIDENT”, DO AS I SAY- very, very responsible
*YOUNG, TALENTED FILIPINA- screams “Go! Pinay.”
*JOURNALIST INSIDE – sooooooooooooo cool!!
gives the feeling of confidence...haha
*PROUD TO BE IN UP (with the oblation) - the honor of being in country’s MOST
prestigious university

And if I were to create my own slogan on my tee,

*CERTIFIED WORKAHOLIC
* I CHOOSE UP
*WATCH OUT! O.C
Eto pamatay,
”Will miss CW10”

hahahaha

it's almost here

2005-09-20T03:53:00.000-07:00

it's almost here

I can almost feel it.

Believe me, I can feel the first semester waving me goodbye.
I should be happy, right? For finally, I'll be able to rest. as in REST.
All those exams, reports and endless papers for the past months have taken a lot of pounds and strength from me.

But why the sad face?
I hate the one big fact that I will no longer see some of my friends/classmates in the same classroom next semester.

I hate the fact that I have to meet new people again and adjust..

I'm really sad 'cause I'll miss a lot of people..

yeah, I may be the corniest and cheesiest creature ever walked the face of UP but this is one thing that you can't stop me to feel,

I'm going to miss you, guys.

17 na..haha

2005-09-13T21:06:00.000-07:00

17 na..haha

it's been another year..

so far, i'm still surviving the roller coaster ride the world has given me.
My thanks to all the people who've remembered my special day and made it sooo happy..

*My family, for loving me for the past 17 years and for sure, will continue to love me for the years to come..(thanks, Grandma! for that "surprise" party!!)
*Mom, for being what you are now.. thanks for everything..On my next birthday, hope we'll be together..
*My SOLID 6, for proving to me that distance won't change our FRIENDSHIP..
(naks, talagang lahat kayo saktong 12 am ako binati...)
*My UP gang ..(Anna, Reyka, Xyza, Brin, JenP.,Peach and Nina)for celebrating my special day and feasting with me sa YC..
*CW10 people especially MIMI,RORY,ZEN,RAFFY,OWEN and REGINE.. you've definitely made my Sept.13 morning soooo happy.. syempre, thank you na rin kay Ma'm Yap for a very lively class discussion..
*room 612 people.. thanks for all!
*My UP pals(GRETCHKRISTELCHARIPANKY and C-3 guys).. whew! thanks sa inyo!!
*GOD, for not leaving me. and for blessing me with a wonderful life with sooo many wonder people in it.my praise, i give to you.
thank you!! thanks for making my 17th birthday sooo wonderful!love you all!!
*Para 'kong nanalo sa Oscar's no?
Anyway, this is so much better than that. Promise

ang INTRAMUROS, bow.

2005-09-11T07:06:00.000-07:00

Haaaay, laking pasalamat ko sa Diyos at kami'y nakarating sa Intramuros nang maluwalhati noong Sabado.
(*tagalog, para mas historic at dramatic ang dating...)

Sa Philcoa pa lang, dami ng nangyari..andyan yung may mga na-late, 'di sumipot at nawala... pero walang papantay sa 'di pagsama ni mimi (kasalanan ko.)
Naranasan kong gawing AS-FC-CAL new building ang layo ng Philcoa sa UP at ng UP sa Katipunan. Kung 'di ako nagkakamali, 9 na beses akong paroon at parito sa mga lugar na ito para hanapin si mimi...

At nang napagdesisiyunan na namimg wala ng pag-asa na makasama si mims(SORRY, talaga!), dito na nagsimula ang "the ultimate-INTRAMUROS-trip".

Sumakay kami(AKO,si OWEN, GED at MADEL) ng bus biyaheng ORTIGAS.Bakit Ortigas?
Pinaniwala kami ng konduktor na papunta raw yun ng sakayan para makarating sa Intra..

So, sige..sakay kami. Pagbaba sa Ortigas, sumakay kami ulit ng bus papuntang Quiapo/Lawton/Manila City Hall at matapos ang humigit-kumulang isang oras, ibinaba kami sa may malapit dun sa underpass.

OWEN(galit na galit): Nakakainis yung mamang yun, niligaw tayo..Asar!!
GED: Oo nga, inikot 'ata tayo.
JEN at MADEL: Oo nga , oo nga..

Matapos ang napaaaaakahabang lakaran, sa wakas narating rin ang Intramuros..

Nakakatuwa. Panu naman, para kaming mga bata nila Owen..Mga nakangisi talaga habang naglalakad. Pagkakain namin, una namimg tinungo ang Manila Cathedral.

JEN: hahaha. D'yan ako ikakasal.
OWEN: Ako rin.

'Di ko na matandaan kung kailan ako huling pumasok dun sa cathedral. basta. Medyo matagal na rin kaya nalimutan ko na kung gaano kaganda yung Church na 'yun.
Sunod naming pinuntahan 'yung WOW!Philippines showplace. Nung naglalakad kami papunta 'run, feeling ko may time warp. Yung, bigla na lang kaming naka-baro't saya habang kasabay sila Rizal sa paglakad-lakad.. nang makarating sa WOW!, ayun na..lumabas na ang mga kakulitan naming lahat.. Picture dito, picture doon, takbo rito, takbo roon... at ito ang pamatay, pumasok kami sa kweba ng Negros Orriental sa halagang limang piso. hehehe

habang nasa daan,
OWEN: Gusto kong makakita ng mga historic ruins-ruins.(patingin-tingin sa paligid)
JEN: Ayan o, dyan pinatay yung tatlong pari. (tumuro sa mga gumuho nang simbahan)
OWEN: Hindi yan!(parang inis pa), yung ano..ano..
JEN: ?!
OWEN: Gusto kong makakita ng..ano..ayun! BOMBA.
JEN/MADEL/GED: (mamamatay-matay sa tawa)
JEN: Anong bomba?
OWEN: Yung mahabang pinapasabog 'pag may giyera.
JEN: CANNON.
OWEN: Ay! 'yun nga. (natawa sa sarili)

matapos ang walang hanggang lakaran at ang pagpasyal sa simbahan ng San Agustin , napansin naming gabi na at nag-desisyon nang umuwi..haaaaaay..

pakiramdam ko nang makauwi na sa wakas sa aking...(teka pano ba tagalugin?)hmmp. tinutuluyan na nga lang.. pakiramdam ko 40% ng polusyon sa maynila nasa mukha ko at 'yung 60% nasa damit ko..
kapagod talaga pero masaya!!!

(*OWEN,GED at MADEL, gandang birthday gift 'to, ulitin natin ito ha!)

weekend madness

2005-09-04T20:17:00.000-07:00

haay, just arrived from the good o'l Baliuag and boy, I'm tired.
All I wanted to do now is sleep.. As in SLEEP not like the 3- hour sleeps I usually get.. But unfortunately, I have an upcoming exam in SOCSCI2 that screams "Jen, aral ka na!!" in red, bold letters everytime I take a look at the readings.(*Sigh)

Oh well! But anyway, I'm used to these "aral-sessions and puyatan days" na naman so its not really something shocking for me.

The weekend has been pretty good for I got the chance to sleep for 8 hours last Friday night and it was heaven.
Saturday afternoon was a blast for SOLID 6 (missing one) came over to my house and we just talked for 4 solid hours,(over puto and cutsinta, crackers and chocolates) and I'm really glad 'cause we're still the same SOLID 6 three years ago.
After the "catching up session", I went to my Ninang Ganda's house(3 blocks away from us) and I played with little Charles and I practically made him cry.
(is it my fault if I missed him so much?)

I went home at around 8 o'clock and started texting my old buddies(literally ALL).
and thanks to the wonders brought by Globe's "unlimited thing". My fingers actually got pretty sore from all those button-pressing.

The long Saturday night was ended by some Reese peanut butter cups and a glass of water and that was it. The end. I was fast asleep.
When I woke up, everything happened so fast that after eating pancakes, preparing my stuffs and dressing up - I was off to Manila.
Wheew!!!

Still, a big smile was plastered on my face on way to Loyola Heights C, for I know, it'll be another week of fun, stress and WONDERFUL moments ahead of me..
(*hehehehehe)

dami kong na-miss..

2005-09-01T18:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I went home to Baliuag and dear, how I missed my family!
For almost two weeks, I did not go home kasi.
And guess what? I realized that some things have changed. Somehow, it made me feel so guilty for being far from "my home".

yeah, I know it's a part of this whole college-thing life but I just can't help but miss my cute cousins, my ever "POP" lola and my tito and tita's.
Well, I think I just have to deal with this na lang and be thankful that my home's just a 2 hour drive from the Metro-jungle..
(Imagine kung sa Surigao o kaya sa Zamboanga pa ko nakatira?)
Anyway, when I went home, I noticed some changes and these kinda shocked me.
1. Charles,my eight month old youngest cousin can stand and sit by himself na.
2. What used to be a "funeraria" in Bagong Nayon(the street near us), is now a newly-opened sari-sari store.
3. "Reel Life" a video store, closed. ( lugi na 'ata)
4. All of a sudden, we had a puppy that looks like a guinea pig. His name is Bingo.
Talagang "nothing is permanent in this world except change", noh?

goodbye's the saddest word

2005-08-28T04:17:00.000-07:00

My Mom left. (Sniff. Sniff)
Yeah, A few a weeks ago, she came home and after a few days after, she’s gone.

But I’m just glad that things, no matter how sad it is, have always a brighter side.
For some miracle or perhaps, Santa Claus have read my blog, my wish was granted.

For the first time ever, I can really say that Mom and I are closer.
For the first time ever, I felt that I’m really her daughter.
For the first time ever, I felt that “magic warmth” brought by a mother’s love.
Sheesh. Ang corny nu?

Little by little my Mom and I are working to “straighten” things out and I just know we’ll make it.

( * Sigh… )

whatta week!

2005-08-06T04:19:00.001-07:00

The past week had been insanely busy…
It was sooo busy that I wasn’t able to update my blog for six days now…
(anyway, here am I, updating it…)

Since Monday, tons of quizzes, papers and reports were generously (?!) showered by my professors. And since Monday these things have been keeping me wide wake until the wee hours of the morning…
I was surprised to make it all without breaking down or something. And to think that I managed to accomplished them without ever sleeping.
Yeah, heard it right.
From Wednesday morning (3 am) up to Friday (6:40 am), I’m awake!!

When I arrived last night, the first thing my
Grandma noticed is my killer eye bags.
And when I told her the reason why I had them, she said:

“Ano ka ba?, Pinapatay mo ba sarili mo?”
( she really overreact sometimes)

“ Baka mapano ka niyan?”

“ Sige na, panik ka na, tulog na.”

And so when my head touched the green pillow with “Jen” etched on it,
my system-nerves and all, automatically shut down..

But even though it had been a killer week,
I learned three things.

1. The coffee is really helpful.
2. Michael Buble’s sweet songs can’t lull everyone to sleep.
3. Ghosts don’t disturb (and scare) studious and hardworking people.(Naks!)

Cynthia who?

2005-07-30T01:44:00.000-07:00

“Uy, galing niya talaga noh?”
“Astig ng boses!, Ang cool!”
“Nuod tayo ulit ng gig niya ah!”

And guess what? They were all talking about this fellow,
Cynthia-Hagart Alexander.
I really have no idea who she is that actually thought she was related with
Cynthia Luster. If not, in the same wavelength.

I’m not the person who usually pries on things I hear. Even if those stuffs are new or unusual to me. But this one is definitely an exception.
So after Ate Jovi blabber about this “sensational” singer for about two solid hours one night,
I was convinced to check her out.
(Ate Jovi happily and whole-heartedly lends her signed cd to me.)

And there was I, clutching Cynthia’s cd as I head home to Baliuag.

After listening to her kind of music, I found myself humming to the tunes of
“U and I” and uttering the words “Fly, you’re a fooooool…”
Gosh, I’ll admit it. She’s cool.

Cynthia’s songs are deep and have a really strong effect to
the people listening to it.
And the lyrics? They’re sooooo poetic.
They weren’t the typical ones that go as simple as
“I can’t live without you...” or “I do love you, babe”

To show hat I have started loving this chick, I came up with my own
“Top Five Fave Songs” from her album, “Rippleyarns”

1. Fly
2. U and I
3. Walked the Roads ( tama ba yung title?!)
4. Intertwyne
5. Owner of the Sky

“Now a hundred years pass,
and we master the game love.
we get straight A’s for heartlessness,
medallions for restraints…”

Oh boy, I can’t believe I’m having a “last song syndrome”

ten things..

2005-07-26T20:55:00.000-07:00

As promised with my ever-funniest and lovely friend Mimi while we feast on our cheese and peanut butter-flavored doughnuts, here is the list of the ten things I wanted to do but find it “un-Jennifer-ly”, difficult or impossible if not, scary.

1. BUNGEE JUMP! - (I wish to have all the guts)

2. TRY BEING A STAND-UP COMEDIAN- (medyo sour joker kasi ako eh…)

3. LEAD A BAND - (and sing “Suntok sa Buwan” na may guitar
upstage with an audience)

4. EAT SOMETHING EXOTIC - (excluding anything that is
labeled “endangered”)

5. ASK A GUY OUT - (Hmmm…)

6. DRIVE- (Nagka-phobia kasi ako eh…)

7. BAKE A REAL CAKE ala HENY SISON - (it’s not un-Jennifer-ly, in fact, it’s
been my dream since then!)

8. GO TO PALAWAN. ALONE. - (Freedom!!!)

9. STAR IN A PLAY. - (it doesn’t have to be the “bida” role but I prefer doing
challenging roles like that of a guy , “Valentina”or even
a “GHOST” Awwoooo!!)

10. TOUCH A WORM - (I know this is gross but I wanted to
overcome my fear of worms)

Something's missing...

2005-07-19T22:40:00.000-07:00

My Mom’s coming home.
Yippee!!
Yeah, right.

You see, my Mom and I aren’t really close.
And whenever she comes home to visit us, I’m always not sure what exactly to feel.
I don’t know whether I should be psyched like any other kids or just give that “dedma lang” look when she arrives.

Haay, hiraaaap.

It’s really hard when you don’t grew up with your parents...

Honestly, I’m really excited ‘cause I’m gonna see her again for it’s been three years since the last time I saw her.
I’m really excited ‘cause I’ll have the chance to talk with her personally unlike the usual conversations we have that seem unreal...
And finally, I’m really excited ‘cause I wanted sooo badly to have those “mother-daughter” thing with her...
But the thing is, my Mom isn’t exactly very motherly and
she’ll be staying here for just two weeks.
I’m scared that if I’ll attach myself too much with her during her stay, I’ll just end up being hurt and lonely again when she leaves.

You know what, every time I watch Gilmore Girls, I can’t help but turn green with envy whenever I see Rory so close with her ultra-cool mom. And every time the program ends, I can’t help but wish that one day, my Mom and I would be that close…

This is the reason why I tend to be really sentimental...
For ever since, I know something's missing...

Obsess raw?

2005-07-18T00:46:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been obsessed?
Silly question, huh?

Well, I was just wondering if any of you has felt some strong desire for something,
or worst, someone…

Yeah, honestly I’m also obsessed with some things too like purple stuffs, Hello kitty collectibles and books but of course, I will never want to be obsessed with a SOMEONE ‘cause I think it’s weird.

These past few days, my friends were incessantly teasing me. They were telling me non-stop that I’m starting to obsess with ‘this someone” kasi raw my “kwentos” are always about “this someone”…

My reaction?
“?!”
Then, I came to ask myself:
“Am I really obsessed?’
(After an hour of thinking..)

I realized and I’m assured that I’m not obsessed.

I mean “this someone” always fascinates me, makes me laugh sooo hard and
even inspires me (in ways I don’t understand).
And because of that, I can’t help but make “this someone” the “bida” of my stories.

Being fascinated or amused with someone isn’t the same with obsession. And that’s true.

One time, while my friends and I were eating and chatting, one part of our conversation goes like this:

FRIEND1: “O, Jen, musta si ___________?”
ME: “ Naku, ayun, katuwa pa rin...”
FRIEND2: “Obsess ka na noh?”
ME: “Uy, hindi... Ano ba yang inisip niyo? Kasi naman hindi ako obsess! blah…blah..”
(Friends-shocked expressions)
FRIEND1: “Eto naman, Eh ‘di hindi na!!”
FRIEND2: “ Galit ka ‘ata?”
“Sorry na..”

Jen’s bubble thought: “Finally, I‘ve cleared it to them”

*For those of you who seem to have a difficult time figuring out if you’re obsessing with someone or not,
Try answering the following with a Yes or No.

1. You can’t stop thinking about the person.

2. You want to stop thinking about him/her but find it impossible.

3. You want to know everything about him/her.

4. You believe your life is meaningless without him/her in it.

5. You consider your feelings to be a problem.

*If you have answered 3 or more “Yes” to any of those, you might be obsessed.
But of course, it is still up to you to see if it’s really an obsession or not.

Ciao..

"Gooooo, Fighting Maroons!!!"

2005-07-11T01:49:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday was a real blast.
Why? It’s the UAAP opening and for some miracle, UP won.
Hey, I’m not underestimating the UP varsity players… It’s just that I heard that UP isn’t that big when it comes to basketball especially when the fight’s against one strong team, like UST.

OK, whatever.

Anyway, the point is UP won!
And being a student of this one ultra-cool school, I’m soooo PROUD!
So, there was I last Saturday, practically cheering my lungs out every time the Maroons will score a point.

Wait a minute, haven’t I mentioned that I’m a part of the cheerleading team?

Okay...
Well, yes, I am and the sole reason why I’ve decided to choose that as my PE is
because I dream of being in the PEP squad.
So before I can be a part of that wonderful team, I need a lot of requirements which include watching UAAP games. It’s very essential for us to be spotted by our team leaders shouting and cheering...
Honestly, I’m not that type of person-someone who’ll crazily cheer for their school during competitions like this but this one, I think it’s FUN.

Good luck, Maroons!!!

When Ms. Workaholic Takes a Day-off....

2005-07-06T01:19:00.000-07:00

I wasn’t able to attend my classes yesterday because my bronchitis is killing me softly. And if you think that I’m lucky to be absent with a pretty good reason, think again.

I actually felt so lonely and pathetic for three major reasons:

1. My bronchitis is sooooo pasaway!!!! Imagine coughing the whole day and drinking medicines every four hours!! Double ewwwww!!!
2. I missed four classes (which includes my fave subject and teacher! heheu).
3. I have to stay in bed all day and drown myself with lots of fluid.

But you know what? I learned one good lesson while I‘m terribly sick. I should not, no correct that, never overwork myself too much especially now that I’m in college.
I remember when I was in high school, I’ll still go to school even if I wasn’t feeling well already. I’ll ignore my Lola’s pleas of skipping classes so I can rest and be fine the next day. Would you believe I manage to graduate without even having one single absent? My classmates and pals find it weird but I find it normal. This is because I’m the “Carpe diem” type of person.
I’m not saying that now that my “no-absents” school record is finally ruined, I can skip classes whenever I’d like to. Of course, not. But now, I learned that my health is still more important and if I continue to be a freak workaholic, I’ll never reach the age of 40 and might as well kiss my dreams goodbye. And I don’t like that.

P.S
I miss my cw_1o classmates especially 3R!!!
Did you guys miss me?? Please don’t say no.

In college. .

2005-06-22T16:18:00.000-07:00

I hope no one will mind if my font color's all in the purple field.

It's been three looooong and TIRING(is it okay to emphasize that?) weeks since I attended school
and gosh!!, I was to really surprised!!
I can still remember the days of April and May:
I, Jen Aquino was actually excited of going to school and meeting tons of different people
and finally, being FREE!!!

But I realized and learned that being in college is not always life's greatest joy.
It's a matter of a combination of both happy memories and "not- so-pleasant-experiences".
But still, college is surely one stage of everyone's life no one should dare miss...

TOP TEN Things All UP Freshies Must Know:

1. In college, you must be independent( do chores on your own, cook your food, and learn how to take jeepney rides!) and be optimistic.

2. In college, you need to be extra hardworking( think about the homeworks, assigned readings and exams!!).

3. In college, it's very hard to attach yourself to new friends for next sem,
you're not sure if you'll see them again.

4. In college, you must know how to fight homesickness( especially those who are far from
home).

5. In college, you'll encounter all kinds of temptations so know your limitations.

6. In college, you have to know how to get along with different people.

7. In college(especially in UP), you are expected to be the best. All times.
(P.s: I don't like this part.)

8. In college, you'll have opportunities to learn soooo many lessons of life.

9. In college(especially in UP), be sure to own a couple of pairs of flip-flops.

10. In college, "matira matibay". It's up to you if you want to win or give up this fight.

"College is the biggest, wildest and most bewildering place I get lost to,
whenever I leave my room"

Judy Abott of "Daddy-Long-Legs"
And guess what? I think she's right.

First Time?!

2005-06-20T02:34:00.000-07:00

I'll admit it.
I actually did have a lot of hard time putting up this blog.
Why? For honestly, I'm not used into this kind of things.
Yeah, I have a diary which I hide from everyone else and hold for dear life but creating one online?
It's kinda weird for me...

So here I was, sort of doubtful on what to write and what to share but why not give it a try right?
Who knows I'll be able to share some sensible experiences at the same time, pour out my feelings..

Goodluck to me!!!