April 1st.

This day is April Fool's Day but I promise, my blog entry for today is not a joke.

At around 2 pm, I have nothing to do. I was actually alone in the house. No T.V programs to watch, no cousins to babysit for and no darn thing to do. So, instead of doing nothing at all but stare at the ceiling, I went to my room and looked around.

My eyes settled on my Pandora's box.

Yeah, I kept one. And perhaps, only those who really close to me knew about that. In case you're wondering why of all names, I chose Pandora-it has something to do with mythology. Pandora's box was opened a long,long time ago and it released all sorts of things to the world: grief, happiness, knowledge, hatred, angst and hope. My own box is quite like that. There I kept old letters, wrappers, cards and even dried roses. Proofs that in my life, I love and was loved, I cried, I was teasured and valued by people, I made mistakes.. Strange for some. But this strangeness makes me feel good.

I started looking for letters that I acquired since Grade 3 and upon rummaging through satcks of cards and letters, I found three letters that made me realized that surely, things have gone a long way and ended up changing.

*a photograph of me in my elementary uniform- I had really short hair and unforgivable crooked teeth. thanks to my hair dresser and orthodontist, I looked like a real girl now.

*wallet size photo of Dennis(from Ghostfighter) with a message at the back- Given by the boy I thought I love. The boy I was first attracted to in elementary. The boy I'd like to be my husband. Yep, puppy love. A very silly puppy love.

*a Christmas letter from Merlina, my ex-best friend, six years ago - Reading it again, it felt funny to know how Merlina and I used to be so crazy for each other years ago. We are like sisters. We are so close that we even call each other "Fers" and "Mers." We are so happy together until we entered high scool. We fell apart and stopped talking. Now, we are neighbors but still, we are never really seeing each other.

I couldn't help but sigh. Things are really different now. Before, I'll admit, I'm happy-go-lucky. Superficial. But when high school entered my life, like a scene from a teleserye, all was changed. Suddenly, I'm the new JEN.

And I love it. The new me.